


He Loves Me Not

by xPinkSprinkledDonutx



Series: He Loves Me Not [1]
Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Jealous Jed, M/M, Major Character Injury (but they're plastic so it isn't graphic or anything), Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25229515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xPinkSprinkledDonutx/pseuds/xPinkSprinkledDonutx
Summary: Jed stumbles across a stack of unsent/unfinished love letters from Octavius to an unknown person in the museum. Jed sets out to find out who. Not because he’s jealous. No, not all.
Relationships: Jedediah/Octavius (Night at the Museum)
Series: He Loves Me Not [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869961
Comments: 73
Kudos: 251





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I've fallen down the Jedtavius fandom hole and I haven't come out since. I also haven't written a fanfic in years so yeah I'm not nervous at all. Nope. Not even a little.

The sun set over New York, shadows stretching across the city from the towering buildings. For most, it was time to turn in and get a chance to rest underneath the stars. Inside the Natural History Museum, however, the fun was just about to begin. 

A night guard might be viewed as a boring job, but for Larry Daley it meant much more than watching over a quiet building filled with wax figures. As the last rays of light slipped from the windows above, the golden tablet began to glow within the chamber of Ahkmenrah. With its light, the exhibits within sprung to life as they have for decades. 

From Attila the Hun, to Teddy Roosevelt, and even the mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex, the empty halls were soon filled with the sounds of life. Lion roars, Neanderthal grunts, and for one miniature diorama, the whistle of a train. 

Jedediah Smith blinked, feeling his joints turn from plastic to meat and bone. He stretched his arms, hearing a satisfying _pop_ from cracking his neck. Standing on the higher level of the western diomara, Jed watched as his fellow miniatures roused from their slumber, already eager to start the night. Several waved to him and called out in greeting, and he tipped his black hat in return. 

Grabbing some rope, Jed fastened it to a post tight before climbing down to the museum floor. He couldn’t really see into their neighboring diorama from his angle, but he could hear the sounds of horses and military drills. One voice stood out, authoritative and familiar.

“Hey, Octy! Ya gonna make me wait ‘til sunrise or what?” He called out, cupping his hands around his mouth.

A moment later, Octavius peered over the edge, red garb standing bright and dramatic as ever. Even from the height, Jed could see him roll his eyes. 

“The night has just begun, Jedediah. Surely you’re not this impatient?”

Jed put his hands on his hips, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Right. Stupid question.” Octavius admitted, a small smile gracing his face. “Just a moment, my friend!” He disappeared from view for a moment, returning to slide down a rope much like Jedediah had. His cloak had become momentarily tangled in the rope, and Jed tried not to laugh at watching him sort it out. Given the glare he received, Jed wasn’t entirely successful.

“I’m surprised that cape of yours don’t getcha into more trouble. How do ya not have that thing flappin’ in your way all night?” He asked as the two began the short walk to retrieve their car. Larry had hidden it behind a display case just beyond the diorama, close enough so they could reach it by themselves and out of view of curious eyes during the day. 

“It’s a cloak, not a cape.” Octavius corrected without missing a beat, though it wasn’t nearly the first time he’s had to do so. 

“Eh, tomato, tomahto, friendo.” Jed waved his hand dismissively. “Why do ya wear it anyway?”

“It’s a part of myself. What if you were asked to put away that ridiculous hat of yours?” He countered as they reached the hiding spot. 

“At least I don’t look like a rooster.” Jed teased, laughing at Octy’s eye roll. “Don’t lie, you only keep it ‘cuz you love lookin’ dramatic.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

The car cruised through the halls, weaving through the wandering inhabitants with ease. Jed let out an enthusiastic ‘yeehaw’ every time he made an aggressive sharp turn, making the Roman clutch the hand rail for dear life. And no matter how much Jed insisted, Octavius refused to acknowledge any squeaks he made during such moments. 

Finally, the two made it to their destination for the night. In the lobby, Larry had set up a large, white bed sheet with a projector facing it. He and Nicky were setting up blankets and pillows across the floor when the two drove up. 

“Hey! You guys are early!” Larry called out, his arms filled with a stack of blankets.

“We couldn’t let you have all the fun, now could we?” Jed climbed out, parking by the front desk. Octavius followed suit. 

“It would be our pleasure to help you set up, my liege.” He said, Jed rolling his eyes at the serious in his tone. Larry raised a brow at them. 

“Oh really? You’re just here to help?” 

Both nodded. Larry set the blankets on one of the nearby pillows. 

“You’re sure this has nothing to do with wanting to get a head start on the donuts Nicky and I brought?”

They nodded again, the picture of innocence. Larry knew better. Last week’s movie night M&M Incident (Or, the M&Mcident) was still fresh in his mind. The next day he had to make up an excuse to McPhee as to why two of the figures were missing from the exhibits. The truth was that the two had put away a whole package of M&M’s between them and had terrible stomach aches afterwards. The sunrise had them frozen over the edge of a small cup in Larry’s office mid dry heave.

“Well that’s good, because I forgot to bring them.” 

The looks on their faces was worth it, Larry grinning in spite of himself. “Gotcha. Tell you what. Help me set up the seats for the rest of the figurines and I’ll get you two first dibs on whichever one you want. BUT!” He hastily added as their faces lit back up. “ _But,_ that’s all you’re gonna have for the movie. So you need to pick wisely, alright?”

“Of course, my liege.”

“Whatever you say, Gigantor.” 

Reaching into a box, Larry pulled out doll sized blankets and pillows he bought from a nearby craft store, handing them down to the small men. Given the height difference, the diorama figures were all given first row seats. 

After a few minutes of throwing pillows at one another (“Hey, watch it! Ya nearly knocked my hat o- Ow!” “Never let your guard down during a battle!”) the miniature seats were ready to go. Jedediah was just about to settle down onto one with a good view when Octavius grabbed his arm and began leading him away. 

“I have a better spot for us, my friend.” He said, pointing to the front desk sitting behind all of the cushions spread along the floor. 

“I asked Nicky for his assistance, what do you think?” From their viewpoint, Jed could barely see one large pillow (Well, large to a three inch cowboy) sitting atop the surface, the corner of a soft looking blanket peeking out from the edge. 

“It’s a mighty fine spot, Octy, but why not sit with our buddies like usual?” Jed asked, eyes narrowing when Octavius began fiddling with the red rope hanging off his shoulder. He knew the Roman well enough to recognize one of his nervous ticks. 

“It’s just that we haven't spent as much time together the past few nights, and I thought- If you don’t wish to, I ca-”

“Now, hold it there, partner, I never said I didn’t like it. I think it’s real nice of ya.” Jed clapped him on the shoulder, deciding to just go with it. He sure wasn’t about to refuse spending some extra time with his best friend. Octavius visibly relaxed.

“Oh, good. I was worri-”

“You coulda just said you missed me like crazy.”

“I did NOT say I-”

“Admit it, ya can’t live without me.”

“Well now I’m considering sitting up there alone.”

“Ow, Octy. You’re more cold than an ice cube in a snowstorm.”

The next few minutes had Larry running around making sure everyone was seated, that the cavemen didn’t try to eat the pillow stuffing (again), and making last minute tech checks with Nicky. He sat beside Ahkmenrah, the young pharaoh holding his own small box of donuts on his lap, fingers already covered in icing and sugar. 

“I’m guessing ancient Egypt didn’t have a rule on waiting for the show to start before digging in?” Larry asked, snagging a chocolate donut from the box. 

“There’s always an exception for royalty.” Ahk declared, shoving the last bits of his donut in his mouth with a satisfied grin. 

“All set, dad.” Nicky said, his own mouth showing evidence that impatience was a trait not limited to the museum residents. 

“Alright, everybody!” Larry called out, grabbing the crowd's attention. “The show’s about to start, so if you have to go, go now. We’re not going to pause the movie because you drank too much water, alright?” 

As they waited for the return of some of the residents, Jed and Octavius made themselves comfortable atop the desk. The pillow was a bit soft for Jedediah’s liking, but it was large enough for him to lay down and stretch without worrying about getting into anyone else's personal space. His hat sat off to the side, Octavius doing the same with his fancy helmet. Jed tousled his helmet hair, yelping indignantly when Octavius did the same to his own blond locks. 

“Do you think you two can behave tonight?” Larry asked, setting two doll sized plates before them. They had agreed on sharing a pink iced donut with rainbow sprinkles and Larry had chopped one up into multiple bite sized pieces for them. The rest were handed out to the other diorama figures.

“What, you don’t trust us, Gigantor?” 

“I did, until I had to take you out because you wouldn’t stop yelling at the screen.”

“Alright, alright, I getcha. I promise ya won’t hear a peep from me tonight.” 

“Thank you. Octavius?”

The general furrowed his brows. “Yes?”

“Don’t give me that, you were the one who started it.” 

“I was not _yelling_ , I was just...enthusiastic.” Jedediah snorted beside him. Octy elbowed his ribs. 

The lights dimmed and Nicky began the movie. Tonight the film was supposed to be a classic, apparently something based on a real event. Jed swore he heard Larry say something about finding a way to send Nicky out of the room when ‘the car scene comes on’, whatever that was supposed to mean.

Jed watched as they revealed the massive steel ship and couldn’t help but let out a whistle, causing a wave of giggles throughout the room. 

“Boy, ain’t she a beaut.” He whispered, leaning closer to Octavius. He nodded, eyes wide in fascination. 

“If Rome had something like this, just imagine how far we could have expanded.” 

“Ya think you could’ve made it to America?” 

“Yes, but we’d probably turn right around if the natives were anything like yourself.” 

“Why, ‘cuz I’m so intimidatin’ and handsome?”

“No I just don’t think we could handle listening to those unbearable cowboy songs you insist on screeching.”

“Those’re American classics!”

“A mistake is still a mistake.”

Jed launched a piece of donut at him, missing by a long shot and landing unnoticed onto Teddy’s hat. Both men tried to stifle the laughter bubbling up inside, threatening to burst. They did make a promise to Larry, after all.

The movie continued, with the heroine settling onto the large ship as she finally set sail. Jedediah found himself laying on his stomach, head resting in his hand. The ocean, weather real or fancy computer magic, looked incredible. The vastness was enough to make his jaw drop, not to mention the ship herself speeding through the water like a hot knife through butter.

“Have you ever seen the ocean, Jed?” Octavius whispered, laying beside him on his belly as well. 

“Oh yeah, every Friday me and the boys go up and ride out to the beaches. Want me to bring ya a seashell next time?” 

Octavius rolled his eyes. “I meant before...this.” He clarified, eyes far away, lost in memories. “I remember spending time on the shores of the Mediterranean. It’s very faint, almost like a dream.” 

“Yeah? Was it like this here?” Jed pointed to the screen. Octavius shrugged. “The only things I remember clearly were the sounds of waves and the smell, carried on a faint breeze. I may have even swam at one point, but as I said, it’s very faint.” 

“Me and swimmin’ go together like a cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs.” Octavius stared blankly at him, making Jed shake his head in exasperation. “Can’t swim, partner.”

“Really?” Jed let out a short bark of laughter at seeing his brows fly up into his hairline. Several inhabitants shushed them, both men making lowering their voices.

“Jedediah, I shall teach you how to swim.” Octavius proclaimed, his tone as serious as if he were giving one of his soldiers orders.

“You don’t gotta do that, Octy.” Jed insisted, but the general stubbornly shook his head. 

“No, my friend. I insist.”

“Octavius-”

“I shall not know peace again until I know you will not be in danger should you find yourself in water.”

“When’s the last time we had to _ever_ worry ‘bout that?” Jed sighed, knowing that once Octy made up his mind he wouldn’t let it go. He’d have better luck tryin’ to move a mountain.

“Okay, okay, fine. Go ahead and teach this old dog a new trick.” 

Octavius nodded, satisfied, and Jed just affectionately bumped his shoulder, grinning. The movie continued, but after some time the two figures found themselves laying down fully side by side, whispering back and forth, stomachs pleasantly stuffed with donuts. The rest of the world faded away as they shared quiet chuckles, swapping stories, and occasionally commenting when they did pay attention to the movie. 

Jedediah didn’t mind they were missing the show. Octavius was much more interesting in his opinion. He listened while the man went on about a conquest he had done in his past life, paying more attention to the sound of his voice more than the actual words coming out of it. It was deep and warm, like a cozy bonfire. Even in the dark his eyes were just as beautiful and captivating. 

Sometimes Jed wondered why he shouldn’t just reach out and hold Octy’s hand, or why not lean forward just a bit and finally know what his lips felt like. He spent far too much time wondering if they were as soft as they looked, or how it’d feel being wrapped up in his arms. 

If someone had told him just a few years back he’d be swoonin’ harder than a maiden in a romance novel over Octavius, he’d have rolled around in the dirt laughing ‘til his sides split. 

_'Well hell, if I’m gonna fall head over heels for somebody, there ain’t no better man to fall for.’_

\---

Hours later, the lights were brought back to life, the inhabitants stretching and chattering amongst themselves. Sacajawea wiped a tear from Teddy’s face and Larry had to pry a sobbing Attila off of him during the end credits. 

As he, Nicky and Ahkmenrah set about cleaning up the lobby (Mostly Larry and Nicky. Ahk 'supervised'.), he realized two typically loud viewers had been very quiet for the past few hours. 

“Jed, Octavius!” He said, approaching the front desk. “Thanks for keeping it down tonight, what did yo-” He cut off as he reached their pillow, a fond smile growing.

Laying on their backs, the two men were slack jawed and drooling, deep in sleep. Their snores were just as loud as their personalities as Jedediah occasionally twitched and muttered in his sleep. Octavius was curled around his cloak, snuggled up like a kitten in a blanket.

“You two have come a long way from those stupid territory fights, huh?” Carefully picking up the pillow, he made his way to the security office. 

“I’ll make sure you two are back before sunrise.” He promised, leaving them on the desk. Jed grunted in his sleep, rolling over until he had one arm slung over Octy, curling around his back and nuzzling into his shoulder. Larry quickly snapped a photo on his phone before letting them get some rest in private, a cheeky smirk on his face as he returned to the lobby. 

“What’s up, dad?” Nicky asked, he and Ahk quickly scarfing down the last donuts that somehow remained untouched. Larry held up his phone, the three of them erupting into giggles.

“Be careful with that, Larry. I can only imagine the rage that little cowboy would express if he found that.” Ahk warned, licking sugar off his thumb.

“Well, I figured if he keeps on dancing around his feelings maybe I could use it for blackmail. I think threatening to hang a giant copy of it in the diorama room might get him to finally do something about his little crush.”

“Have they really not said anything yet?” Nicky asked, sitting on top of the desk. “I figured even if Jed didn’t want to say anything, Octavius wouldn’t give up a chance at being all...you know. Flashy?”

“Dramatic?” Larry offered. 

“I’d argue he’s passionate, but I suppose those work as well.” Ahk chimed in, standing beside the night guard. “I understand we’re all eager to hear that they have finally taken the next step, but there are some things we should keep in mind.”

Larry thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s got to be rough going from hating a guy for 50 years to…” He cleared his throat, avoiding making eye contact with Nicky. “Not...uh, hating him.” He finished lamely. Nicky rolled his eyes. 

“Mom already gave me that talk, dad.” 

“What? _When_?”

“Back to the point, gentlemen.” Ahk interrupted, steering them back to their conversation. “Even though they became friends quite easily, entering a relationship is always a delicate matter. Hopefully, giving them time and PATIENCE-” He turned his gaze to Larry. “-I believe they will come around when they’re ready.”

Larry and Nicky nodded. “Fine, yeah. You’re right. But if the day I retire comes around and they’re still just friends I’m gonna lock them in a drawer until they sort things out.” 


	2. Chapter 2

“Octavius, I really don’t-”

“You have my word, I will ensure no harm befalls you.”

“I ain't worried about drownin, it's these shorts.”

Larry rolled his eyes as he listened to the two argue on the desk behind him. Several days had passed since their Titanic movie night, and Larry had long ago stopped asking questions when it came to the exhibits requests. Still, a set of tiny swim trunks and a Barbie pool set was among the most random.

“Gigantor, why do I gotta wear this? I got perfectly good drawers!” Jedediah complained, holding up the pair of bright orange swim trunks with white Hawaiian flowers.

“Would you really rather walk around the rest of the night in soggy underwear?” Larry countered, pouring another cup of water into the plastic pool. The set came with a small plastic ladder and slide, and Nicky provided a little rubber duck with a cowboy hat.

“It isn’t a big deal, Jedediah.” Octavius said, already stripped of his armor and wearing just his red tunic.

“Easy for you to say, you don’t got no flowers on your trunks.”

“What did flowers ever do to you?”

"Nothin', I just don' wanna wear 'em."

"My gods, I had no idea you were so _picky_."

“Guys, come on, that’s enough.” Larry said, determined to get through his shift without a headache. “Jed, it’s just gonna be you and Octavius, there’s no reason to get embarrassed. It's just a pair of shorts. Besides, you agreed to this. You gotta stick to your guns, cowboy.”

Jed grumbled, crossing his arms. Unlike Octavius he hadn’t so much as removed his hat. From beyond the office walls, Larry could hear Rexy pacing impatiently outside, whining unhappily. Without the two men driving around playing fetch, Larry had promised the dinosaur he’d play with him that night. Clearly, the over sized skeleton puppy had had enough waiting.

“I gotta go, you two have fun, I’ll be back in an hour!” With that, Larry closed the door behind him, the two standing silent as the floor shook slightly from Rexy’s giant steps fading away.

“Jed-”

“I ain’t wearin’ it.”

Octavius sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Would you rather just switch?” He asked, holding out his blue and black striped pair. Jedediah nodded, and the two turned away from each other to give some privacy before they began stripping down. Even though he couldn’t see Octavius, Jed felt his face flush.

_‘Keep it together, Jed. This don't mean nothin’, he’s just another friend. Hell, you’ve seen the other cowboys in their drawers at least once, this ain't no different.’_

“Are you ready?”

“Hold on, not yet.”

“You claim MY attire is overly complex, yet who’s the one taking so long?”

“Aw, shut your flannel mouthed gab.”

“I swear you make a point every night to make up the most goofy sayings just to annoy me.”

“Boy, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet!”

Finally slipping into his swimsuit, Jed turned around. “Alright, Octy, ya re-” The words died on his tongue, his cheeks burning red like a sunset over the desert.

Octavius sure didn’t let those military drills go to waste, huh?

Jed already knew there was some strength behind those punches and grapples over the years, but actually seeing the muscles behind it was another thing altogether. Not to mention the dark hair that trailed across his chest and down his stomach before disappearing beneath the waistband.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yep!” Jed yelped, forcing his eyes back up. “Right as rain, fit as a fiddle, hunky dory!”

“Alright, you definitely made that last one up.” Octavius laughed, and Jedediah felt himself relax. He could do this. Everything was fine.

Octavius used the plastic ladder to slowly climb into the pool. “This isn’t so bad. It was quite nice of Larry to-”

“YEEEEHAAAWW!”

Octavius found himself hit with a huge wave of water as Jedediah sped down the pink slide, slamming into the pool like a cannonball. Jed poked his head out of the water, blond hair sleek and dripping, cackling with glee as Octavius tried desperately to get water out of his nose. 

“Ya wanna see if I can get a bigger splash goin’?” 

“NO, that’s-” _Snort_ “-not necessary.” Nose finally cleared out, Octavius shook his head, spraying Jed with flying droplets. “Now, let’s start with the basics.” 

The next few minutes had Jedediah learning how to float on his back, Octavius’s steady hands beneath him the whole time. Next, he sank to the bottom to see how long he could hold his breath (Jed's idea, much to his teacher's protests) and now he was hanging off of the rubber duck and kicking his legs. Admittedly, he felt ridiculous. 

“I ain’t a little kid, I don’t need a floatie.” He complained. “Look, it ain’t even that deep. See?” He stood up, the water hitting the middle of his chest. Octavius sighed, patience wearing thin.

“It’s just a precaution until you’ve learned how to kick properly.”

“Well do I really need this contraption?” Jed asked, crossing his arms. Octavius thought for a moment, Jed feeling like he could practically see the moment the light bulb turned on up there.

“I have an idea. Here, take my hands.” 

Jed stared at his upturned palms, feeling like his heart was about to burst out of his chest when he hesitantly reached out. His hands were smooth and warm, sending a pleasant tingle down Jed’s back and turning his cheeks light pink. Octy didn’t seem to notice, gently leading him back into the lesson. 

“Hold on tight, and let yourself float like before. That’s it, now start kicking.” Octavius led Jed around the tiny pool, grip tight and watching like a hawk for any sign of trouble. Jedediah slowly got the hang of it, keeping himself afloat easily. His kicks became less sporadic and wild, becoming more focused. 

He ducked his head under briefly, but before Octavius could panic, he popped back up to spray water from his mouth like a fountain. The stream smacked Octavius directly in the face.

“Ack! Jed, you little-” Pulling the cowboy back to his feet, Octavius released his hands and in a flash he lifted Jed out of the water with ease. Water dripped off of Jed as he was held bridal style, a deep flush spreading from his face to the tips of his ears. 

_‘This Roman’s tryin’ to kill me.’_ He thought, heart racing faster than a Roadrunner.

He could feel the muscles in his arms and chest, the water dripping off of his smooth skin and good lord that smirk should be illegal. 

“Either you behave the rest of the lesson, or you’re going to have our yellow friend here be your teacher from now on. Which will it be?” 

“I think just I’ll take my chance at drownin'." 

“Oh really?” Brown eyes glinted mischievously. 

“Don’t you do it.” Jed warned, sensing his train of thought.

“Do what?” 

“Don’t you drop me.”

“Drop you? Well, if you insist.” 

“ _Octa_ -!” Jed yelped as he was suddenly flying through the air, hitting the water hard. He quickly closed his mouth before going under, flailing his arms before he hit the bottom. He sprung onto his feet, taking a gulping breath as he emerged. Octavius was nearly doubled over in laughter, face turning bright red.

“Ya dirty Roman, I thought you were tryin' to teach me, not drown me!” Jed exclaimed, trying desperately to fix his tangled, stringy wet hair and clear out his nose. Octavius wiped at his eyes, smiling as he took a shaky breath to calm down. 

“You had nothing to fear, my friend. If you were in danger, I would never hesitate to rescue you.” 

Damnit, even when he’s mad Jedediah couldn’t help but feel his stomach flip at the sweet words. They say the devil tempted Eve with a silver tongue, and now Jed was certain if it were Octy he’d probably have bitten that apple, too.

“I can handle myself, Octy.” Jed muttered, using the excuse of trying to get water out of his ears to avoid making eye contact. Lord knows he’s blushed like a fool in front of him enough times for one night.

“I’m well aware. Still, I can’t help but worry about you. You’re very dear to me, Jedediah.” 

‘ _Christ, he really is tryin’ to kill me. This was his plan all along.’_

Clearing his throat, Jed was suddenly reminded that they were both essentially naked. He couldn’t help but glance down at his own body, nothing nearly as impressive as the general before him. Feigning nonchalance, Jed crossed his arms over his chest. 

“You sure got a talent for butterin’ people up, Octy.” 

“I am merely speaking the truth, Jedediah.” Octavius moved his eyes down to Jed’s covered chest, and he did his best not to squirm under the gaze. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, concerned. Lord, he was worse than a mother hen. Jed only shrugged, and Octavius noticed the clock.

“Larry will be returning soon, shall we get dressed?” 

The two climbed out of the pool, once again turning their backs for privacy. Using small rags Larry had left them, the two quickly dried off before slipping their usual garb back on. Jed immediately felt better with his chaps and familiar blue button up. 

As Octavius finished tying his armor on, Jed saw the rubber duck float out of the corner of his eye. 

With Octy’s back to him, he felt a devious grin break out.

Sure it was childish, but it was only fair that Octavius had a bit of comeuppance for his stunt earlier. His back still stung from hitting the hard plastic floor. A little jump scare is getting off easy in Jed’s mind. If he could just reach it...

Moving quiet as a cat, Jed leaned over the edge of the pool, stretching his arm out as far as he could. The lousy duck was still out of reach. 

Stubborn, Jed used his other arm to heave himself up, legs dangling in the air as his upper body leaned further over the edge. A small, reasonable part of his brain warned him to drop back down before he made things worse, but he hardly listened to it. It was just within reach, just a bit more-

“Jedediah?” 

Startled, Jed lost his balance, barely able to let out a single squeak before plunging headfirst into the water. 

_"Jedediah!”_

Water quickly flooding his mouth, Jed thrashed wildly, disoriented. He felt his clothes growing heavy, pulling him down, his heart pounding as panic swarmed his thoughts.

Where was the floor? Which way was up? _Which way was up?_

Gotta find the surface, _gotta find it_ -

_There’s no air no air **no air** \- _

Hands grabbed him, yanking him up. His head broke the surface, gasping for air and coughing up water like a cat hacking up a hair ball. He was dimly aware of a pair of arms wrapped tight around his middle, pulling him back to the edge, and a voice in his ear. 

“-easy, Jedediah, easy. Just breathe, you're alright-” 

Jed found the edge of the pool, gripping it for dear life. Taking a moment to breathe deeply, still disoriented, Octavius swiftly climbed out. 

“Here, hold onto me.” He instructed, and Jed didn’t put up a fight as he wrapped his arms around Octy’s neck, feeling himself be pulled over the edge. His feet landed shakily to the ground and if it weren’t for the grip on Octavius Jed feared his knees would have buckled.

“Jed? Are you alright?” 

Nodding hesitantly, Jed slowly pulled back. Octavius, however, kept a firm grip on his shoulders, gaze intense and worried. “What in the name of Jupiter were you doing?” He asked, water dripping off of the two into a puddle on the desk. 

“I was just tryin’ to get that stupid duck.” Jed admitted, throat in pain from coughing up water. 

“The _duck_? Jed, you still haven’t learned how to swim properly, you shouldn’t have- If I wasn’t here you could have-”

“I wouldn't have drowned, I’d have found my way to the surface eventually.” It was difficult to sound confident while his hands were still shaking and heart still hammering in his chest. 

“ _Eventually_ might have been too late!” His grip tightened on his shoulders. 

“Hey now, you look like you're 'bout to have a stroke there, partner. Look, I’m fine. Alright?” Jed assured him, taking a moment to blow water out of his nose _again._

Octavius paused, the fear in his eyes slowly easing. He nodded, finally releasing the cowboy. “You’re right. Still, you need to be more careful. I won't always be with you to help. Is that clear?”

“Yes, _mom_.” Jed snickered at the glare thrown his way. He could see the edge of his mouth fighting the urge to grin. Despite the chill from his drenched clothes, his chest felt warm and light. Speaking of which…

“What do we do ‘bout this, partner?” He asked, peeling his wet shirt from his skin. His guns had fallen out of their holsters, sitting at the bottom of the pool. His hat floated right next to that damn duck. Octavius looked down at his own tunic, dripping. His armor at least looked _very_ shiny and clean. His dark curls stuck to his forehead, and Jed was glad he hadn’t put on his helmet before diving in for the rescue. 

“I suppose we should go back to the diorama and change into some new clothes.” He declared, voice free from the worried panic from before. More like the leader Jed knew and loved. 

“Sure, ya got a pair of chaps layin’ ‘round Rome for me?” Luckily, his hat had floated to the edge. Jed eagerly snatched it out, frowning as he shook water off of it. Damn, it’d take forever to dry. 

“You don’t have spare clothes?” Octavius asked, eyes widening when Jed shook his head. “Why not? Larry has made several generous offers to bring my men and I new clothing in case of emergencies. Have the cowboys not received the same?” 

“Nah, we have. I just never got ‘round to actually askin’ Gigantor ‘bout it. Didn’t seem important.” 

Of course, standing there like a wet dog left out during a thunderstorm, he realized he probably should have taken the offer. 

“Are there any men you could ask help from?” Octavius suggested, wringing his cloak of water. Jed shrugged. 

“Yeah, probably. I just…” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, eyes downcast.

“What’s the matter?” 

Sighing, Jed glanced back to the pool. “Thing is, the boys don’t know what was goin’ on today. I don’t even wanna think about them hearin’ I got soaked flopping into a pool tryin’ to catch a duck, much less that I was learnin’ to swim. They’d never let me hear the end of it.” He admitted. 

Octavius was quiet for a moment, contemplating Jed’s confession. “If you don’t wish for your men to learn about this, you are welcome to stay in my quarters until your clothes have dried. I have spare clothing you can borrow.”

“Aw, don’t lie, Octy, ya just wanna see me in one of them tunics dontcha?” Jed teased, smirking at his _long_ sigh. Before either could say anything more, the door opened and Larry rushed in. 

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Attila and one of the cavemen found some- Whoa, what happened here?” He asked, noting the growing puddle by their feet, as well as their soaked clothes and hair. “I know you had a problem with the shorts, Jed, but I don’t think this was a better solution.” 

“Hardy har har. Good one, Laredo. You doin' a little stand up on the side now?” Jed snarked, while Octavius tried in vain to fix his hair. 

“We had a little...mishap, my liege. Would you mind dropping us off at my quarters?” 

The two climbed onto Larry’s palm as he fished Jed’s guns out of the water. Jed frowned at them, water draining out of the barrels. 

“Cheer up, it wasn’t as if they worked before anyway.” Octavius pointed out. 

“Tell that to my crushed pride, toga boy.” 

Larry brought the two back to the Roman exhibit, many of the figures still milling about. The others were in their quarters or had wandered over to mingle with the westerners, or around the museum. Larry had instigated a rule that if any of them wanted to travel it had to be in groups large enough for the larger inhabitants to notice easily so they wouldn’t accidentally get crushed. Even then he asked that they have Teddy or somebody else give them lifts to their destination. Of course, Jed and Octavius were an exception thanks to their car. 

“Here we go. Um...” Larry hesitated, eyes roaming the small buildings. “Which one is your place?” 

“On the right, towards the back. No, no that’s the dining hall. Little more, there we are” Triumphantly, Octavius jumped down as Larry lowered his hand before a tiny door. Jed followed suit, glancing to make sure nobody was paying them any mind. He didn’t want rumors spreading around about him sneaking off to Octy’s room. There weren’t much else to do but gossip in between working on a railroad, especially now that they were at peace with their neighbors. 

“Are you two good now?” With a nod from the two, Larry bid farewell and left them to take care of the other exhibits. Octavius opened the wooden door, gesturing for Jed to enter first. Jed stepped into the room and let out a low whistle. “Wow, Octy. Really livin’ it up ain’t ya?” 

Before, the interior of the dioramas were empty. Why wouldn’t they be, since the museum guests couldn’t see inside anyway? And before the tablet came around, the figures had no need for furniture or personal belongings. However, when Larry began taking requests from the various exhibits, many of the tiny figures asked for furniture. There wasn’t enough space for everybody, but those who could claim a room had filled it with whatever Larry could find. In Jedediah’s tent, he had a comfy cot, a small table, and a chair. Nothing special. 

Octavius had clearly put more thought into his space. His room wasn’t very large, but a big, soft looking bed sat on the far wall, with small pillows stacked high on top. A large chest sat at the foot of it, a soft patterned rug covering the floor and various artwork hung from the walls. A wooden desk and chair stood nearby, a stack of tiny paper ( _‘Oh, that was why Larry had a bunch of tiny paper cuts a while back’_ ) and even a small plastic quill pen sat on top. 

“Is it too much?” Octavius asked hesitantly, eyeing the room with a crease between his brows. 

Jed clapped him on the shoulder. “You make that face long enough it’ll freeze like that. Nah, it’s fine. Suits ya real nice.” 

Relieved, Octavius smiled. “Thank you. Here, I have more clothes in this.” Opening the chest, he pulled out two tunics. One was bright red like his current wet one, the other a creamy white with gold embroidery along the hem and sleeves. Jed happily took the white one, so eager to get out of damp clothes he didn’t even bother to comment about not having pants. 

Once again, the two turned their backs to change, Jed let out a happy sigh as he slipped the tunic over his head. The cloth felt nice and cool against his skin. His wet rags were laid spread out along a bench tucked in a corner, not dripping as much as before but still wetter than a water buffalo’s backside. 

“You know, this ain’t so bad.” Jed commented, looking down at himself. “Now don’t even think ‘bout tellin’ my boys I said that, or I’ll-” 

“Please, if I wanted to embarrass you in front of your men I could just inform them of the toy duck incident.” Octavius slipped the fresh tunic on, Jed watching the muscles disappear beneath the fabric. He turned around, glancing down to Jed’s tunic. Jed glanced down at himself, pulling the hem down a bit. 

“Ain’t too short is it? I don’t want no breeze blowin’ things up or nothin’.” 

“No, no, you look-” Octy paused, taking another glance up and down his body. “You look good. It suits you well.” 

Jed grinned. “Aw shucks, Octy, you’ll make me blush.”

“Evidently it isn’t that hard to do.”

“Hey!”

A knock on the door startled them.

“Yes? Who is it?” Octavius called, voice back in Leader Mode. 

“Sir, the meeting will begin soon. Are you ready?” 

Octavius groaned, quickly collecting himself. “Yes, I shall be there shortly. Thank you.” Footsteps faded away and he turned back to Jed. “I’m very sorry, Jedediah, I completely forgot about this meeting. I-”

“Octy, relax, it’s fine.” Jed interrupted, waving a hand. “Go ahead, I’ll just entertain myself here.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll survive. But ya owe me some barbecue chips from the fancy food box out in the hallway.” 

Octavius scrunched his nose. “I’ll never understand why you find those so delightful.” 

“And I don’t get why ya insist on those nasty salt and vinegar ones.” 

The two continued to bicker over their snack preference, Octavius hastily wiping the last of the water from his armor before slipping it back on. His cloak was still a bit damp, but he didn’t have time to worry about that. Helmet in place, he gave himself a final pass over before nodding, satisfied. He hesitated by the door, picking at his cloak. Jed rolled his eyes. 

“Octy, GO. I’ll be fine, really.” He insisted. Octavius nodded, still looking concerned. “I’ll return as quickly as I can. Farewell, my friend.” With a flourish from his cloak, he finally left. 

“I’m tellin’ ya, he only keeps that thing for the dramatic effect.” Jed sat back on the large bed. It was a little too plush and soft, but beat laying on a dirt floor. The room was quiet, the sounds of the world outside faint. 

Humming, Jed tapped his fingers against his knee. 

....

Alright, maybe this wouldn’t be as easy as he thought. 

Blowing a raspberry, Jed walked over to one of the pieces of art on the wall. He didn’t know a lot about art, but he recognized the garb as Roman. Maybe they were some of his gods? Where did Larry even find mini paintings in the first place? More importantly, who the hell was taking the time to _make_ them?

The rest of the pieces were pretty similar, and Jed found himself hovering next to the desk. The papers were stacked neatly, blank as fresh snow. Jed picked up the tiny quill, noting the smudges of ink on the pointy bit. 

_'What kinds of stuff does Octy even need to write down?’_ Jed glanced at the paper, blue gaze slowly leaning down towards one of the drawers. 

One little peek wouldn’t hurt, right?

Inside, Jed could see it filled with several bits of paper rolled up like cigars, tied up with bits of string. Curious, Jed grabbed one sitting on top, slipping the red string off. 

_'He’s probably writin’ down more gear he and his boys nee..eed…’_

The first sentence made it clear this wasn’t a shopping list. Jed blinked, but the words stayed the same. Slowly, he continued scanning the paper, his stomach clenching tightly. 

_The radiance of your smile outshines the stars above. If I were to witness the sunlight reflected in your eyes I’m sure to be blinded by their brilliance. If I were to kiss you, I could never stop. One would become two, three, until I’ve kissed you a thousand times. It will never be enough to show how dear you are to me. There is no other for me, this I am certain. As long as the sun rises and sets, my love for you is eternal_

Jedediah quickly tied the paper back up, dropping it hastily back into the drawer. Feeling like a creep, Jed turned back from the desk, the words echoing through his head. 

Why were there love notes inside his desk? Did he write them? Or...did somebody give them to him? The thought made Jed’s skin crawl, but he brushed off the jealousy itching to burst. He had no claim over Octavius. Everyone could see he was downright gorgeous, who wouldn’t want him? 

Hell, he was more than just a pretty face. He was brave, loyal, intelligent, adventurous-

_‘Focus, cowboy.’_

Hesitantly, Jed turned back to the desk. The drawer was still opened, the innocent looking bits of paper beckoning him like a moth to a flame. Hopefully Jedediah didn’t burn himself. 

Pulling out another piece, he took a deep breath before reading the next one. 

_I find myself dreaming of you often, each more pleasant than the last. My memories of these are brief, but every moment is filled with bliss. Our hands intertwined as we walked through the_ _halls. Watching the sunrise, freezing in each other’s embrace. Your head resting in my lap, letting me run my fingers through your long locks. Each time I wake I mourn that these moments are not meant to be._

“Long locks, huh? Guess that answers one question.” Jed muttered, quickly slipping it back in place. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of him.

The letters weren’t _given_ to Octavius. They were _written_ by him.

He was in love with somebody.

Uncurling another one, Jeddiah continued to read.

_I would like to believe myself to be a brave man, but I confess at times I feel afraid. Every time I see your smile, I am afraid. Every time you laugh and it sends my heart racing, I am afraid. Every time I look into your eyes I never want to look away, and I am afraid. I am afraid of what you do to me. I am afraid of what this means, but most of all I am afraid that you will find out about my feelings for you. That one day, you will simply look into my eyes, directly into my heart and soul, and you will know._

A bark of laughter from outside brought Jedediah back to his senses. He dropped the paper like it would bite him, guilt washing over him. 

_‘God, what am I DOING?’_

Jed quickly placed the notes back, slamming the drawer shut. What was wrong with him? He felt dirty. Those sweet, honest, romantic words weren’t for him. He invaded his best friend’s privacy, all because he wanted to know who this mysterious crush was. 

“I’m a right prick, is what I am.” He mumbled, pacing in the small space. His heart clenched as he remembered the words, he could almost hear Octy whispering them to him. He thought of him saying them to somebody else, and let out a frustrated growl. 

_‘Whoever this person is, they better appreciate how damn lucky they are having Octy sendin’ all them-’_

Abruptly, he stopped, eyes wide as reality struck through his green eyed head.

Octavius WASN’T sending the letters. 

Why write something so nice and just shove it in a drawer? Is he just waiting for the right time? That last one said something 'bout being afraid, but why? Why would someone like Octy be scared of confessing how he feels? 

Just who is this person who wormed their way into his best friend’s heart? 

As he continued to sit and wait for Octavius to return, Jed could feel a plan form in his mind. He knew he shouldn’t get involved, but seems like he’s already made his bed after reading those letters. Now he’s gotta lay down and deal with the consequences. 

Hopefully, whatever happens, he’ll get his answer.


	3. Chapter 3

The next night, Jedediah unfroze with a plan. Well, it wasn't really a _plan_ so much as him just hopin' he can actually get Octavius to admit his feelings. He was more of an action fella, plans weren't really his thing. 

Larry had asked them to ride around and play with Rexy for a bit since last night was put on hold for swim lessons, and Jed happily obliged. For his 'plan' to work he and Octy had to be completely alone. At least, alone with something that can’t talk. 

By the time Octavius climbed down, Jed had already pulled the car up, honking the horn just to watch him jump in surprise. 

“Gods, whose idea was it to have a functional horn in a remote car?” He asked, taking his place in the passenger side. His helmet sat by Jed’s black hat in the backseat. 

“Just be glad this ain’t one of them fancy roofless cars.”

 _“Roofless??”_

Jed took off, distracting himself by dragging out an argument over weather or not to ask Larry for a convertible (“Absolutely NOT.” “Why not? You got them carriage things. They don’t got no roof.” “They weren’t made to travel at the ludicrous speeds you d- _AAHH STOP THAT_!” “I’m barely touching’ the gas!”). He felt like bugs were skittering around his stomach, hands a bit more sweaty than usual in his gloves. Time to get started on that plan.

Now, he might have a bit of the case of green eyes, but Jedediah was still a full grown man. If Octavius really loved somebody else, he’d do his best friend duty and help him out. Sure, it would hurt worse than slamming down onto a cactus patch, but he’d do it. If it would make Octavius happy, Jed would do just about anything for him.

First things first; Narrow down his suspects. Ain’t no way Jed was going to help Octy until he knew this person was even worth the Roman’s time. He might step aside, but not just for any ol’ John or Jane. Octavius deserved someone mighty fine. 

Once Larry helped tie the rib bone up to the car, they sped down the halls. Rexy’s thunderous steps boomed after them, tail occasionally whacking into unfortunate pedestrians who weren’t watchin' out. As they began their usual route around the museum, Jed started off nice and simple by asking how things were going in the Roman diorama. Next, he tried asking about some specific people he knew.

Admittedly, he didn’t actually know many of the Romans, mostly just some of the soldiers that usually hang around Octavius. Still, he dug up any name he could think of, anybody he could remember seeing Octy spend any time with, nonchalantly glancing over to watch for any reaction. When that seemed to go nowhere, he tried bringing up some of the other westerners the two spent time with every so often, name droppin' nearly everyone in the diorama.

Either he was very good at hiding it, or none of the people Jedediah knew were the Mystery Crush. Jed did his best not to scowl. The plan was going nowhere so far.

"And, of course, I had to tell Cyrus that there was no way we cou- Are you alright?" 

"Hm?" Jed'd focus snapped back to Octavius, realizing he had let his mind wander. "Sorry, partner, whatcha say?"

Octavius narrowed his eyes. "If I'm boring you, we can discuss something else."

"No, no, it's fine! I'm just thinkin' about...y'know. Stuff."

"You? Thinking? What's the occasion?"

Jed jerked the car sharply, smirking at his passenger's shrill yelp. 

Soon, the conversation veered drastically off course, somehow leading to an argument over coffee and tea (“Ya just can’t beat a fresh cup of Joe in the mornin’!” “We don’t even get to enjoy mornings.” “It’s the spirit behind it that counts, partner!”). Nearly an hour had passed before Jedediah remembered his plan.

Damn Octavius and his damn rich, deep voice. The general was in the middle of expressing his desire to have Larry bring tea so he could show Jed what he was missing out on when the cowboy blurted out;

“You ever been in love before?”

“I...Excuse me?” Octy asked, turned to him, eyes wide. “Where did this come from?” 

Jed shrugged, turning the corner to lead Rexy through the ocean exhibit. The blue whale swam overhead, paying them no mind. “I was just wonderin’, that’s all.” 

“Why? Have you?”

 _'Come_ on _Octy, at least_ try _to cooperate with me!’_ Jed thought irritably. He didn’t want this whole night to just be him and Octavius runnin’ ‘round each other like a dog chasing his tail. 

Jed just shrugged again, weaving through the legs of a wandering ostrich. “I was just askin’, amigo. Yes or no will do fine.” 

Octavius was quiet for a moment, looking out of his window, one hand gripping the handle as Jed made a particularly fast sharp turn. Behind them, Rexy roared with glee

“That is...Well, I…” Clearing his throat, he tried again, much more confident. “I remember having been married several times in my historical life. I can’t say I recall much about those relationships, but I’m sure they were lovely ladies.” 

“Just your old life then?” Jed prodded, trying not to bristle at the thought of Octavius actually married. “What ‘bout this one? Nobody ya fancy?” 

The car was quiet, Jed focusing on not running into the ankles of wandering vikings as they left the ocean exhibit. His nerves picked up as the silence stretched, feeling brown eyes staring at him. He tapped his finger on the wheel, trying to seem casual and not like he was hanging on the edge of his seat waiting for an answer.

“There might be somebody I...admire. Here, that is. In this life.” Octy confessed, his voice hesitant. “I fear nothing will come of it, however, so if you don’t mind I wish to say nothing more about the matter.” 

“Whoa, backup there a sec, partner. What makes you think nothing’s gonna happen?” 

Who in their right mind would reject _Octavius?_ Must be blind _and_ crazier than a wild mustang. 

Octavius picked at the rope on his chest, looking down at his lap. Jed sighed, turning the car down a long corridor that was nearly empty. He reached out and gripped his shoulder, giving a small squeeze.

“Hey, partner, what’d I tell you ‘bout makin’ faces like that? It don’t look right on you. You look like a puppy pouting ‘cuz his favorite toy got taken away.” 

Octavius snorted, a small smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. “I’m a general, I do NOT pout.” 

“Yeah, then what’s this here?” Jed pinched his cheek, grinning as Octavius tried batting his arm away, both with wide smiles and giggling. Jed turned back to the hall ahead of him just in time to avoid colliding with a civil war mannequin. 

“You never answered me.” Jed pointed out, noticing Octavius tensing right back up in his peripheral. “I’m just sayin’, I don’t get why someone wouldn’t wanna be with ya. You’re a catch.” 

Octavius scoffed. 

“I’m serious! So what is it then? They don’t like the cape? Already with somebody? Or are they too oblivious to even notice ya like ‘em?” 

“You have one correct, yes.” Octavisu admitted, still not looking at him. He at least stopped playing with the rope. 

“I told ya that cape was a bad idea! Next time listen to ol’ Jedediah.” 

“If he was superficial enough to reject me because of my _cloak_ , I’d say he was never worth the trouble in the first place. Whoa, watch out!” He yelled, grabbing the hand rail as Jed barely missed crashing into a wall

“Sorry, sorry.” Jed said, trying to hear past his heart pounding in his ears. 

He. 

Octavius had said _he._

“Are you alright?” 

“Yeah!” Voice cracking, Jed cleared his throat, coughing. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” He insisted, eyes locked ahead of them, thoughts racing. Hope threatened to bloom in his chest, warm and bright like a flower opening up in spring. 

Sure, Jed had considered that Octavius might be into fellas, given that was mostly who made up their exhibits, but to hear him actually confirm it took him off guard. He even said in his old life he had wives, he just never thought Octy would be into both. A small part of him had hoped Octavius would be in love with a woman, that maybe it would somehow make it easier for Jed to start tryin’ to get over his crush. But, no, he was interested in another man, and now his damn heart was beating wildly and wouldn’t calm down. He was surprised Octy couldn’t hear it over Rexy’s stomping. 

“I think we have differing opinions on what ‘fine’ means, my friend. Something is clearly troubling you.” Octavius paused, realization hitting him. “Is...is it because I am interested in a man?” He spoke so softly Jed had barely heard him. He wanted to smack his head against the wheel. 

“No, Octy, I don’t care ‘bout that. You like who ya like, ain’t nothin’ wrong with that!” He said, babbling while he tried to calm down. “I mean I’m surprised, yeah, but it’s alright with me. I know a lotta people are jerks about that but me and my boys won’t judge ya for it. They might tease ya but it’s all in good fun! They don’t mind me and my taste so you don’t got nothin’ to worry about with the old west.” 

“Your...taste?” 

Oh no.

“Jedediah, do you also like-”

_Crash!_

Both men slammed forward, the wheel smacking painfully into Jed’s chest. “Ow! What the-” Rubbing his chest, he looked over at his passenger.

"Octy? You alright?” Next to him, Octavius rubbed his forehead, hissing in pain.

“Never better. How did you say it? Hunky Dairy?”

Above them, Attila stared down at the car, brows furrowed. He didn’t seem too affected by the car slamming into his foot, leaning down and speaking to them in a language neither knew. He didn’t sound angry at least.

“Sorry ‘bout that!” Jed called out, leaning his head out of the window. Attila said something else, gesturing to him and Octavius, concerned. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout us, pal. We’re fit as a fiddle!” 

“Speak for yourself...” Octavius grumbled, holding his head in his hands. 

Attila looked back to Rexy, who was waiting patiently behind the car, long tail wagging expectantly. Attila picked up the bone, gesturing to him and the massive skeleton.

“You wanna play with Rexy for a bit?” 

Attila nodded, grinning excitedly. 

“Sure, just don’t break nothin’. Remember when y’all tried to use the microwave in Gigantor’s office and set the thing on fire?” 

Attilla muttered something (probably insisting it weren’t his fault) as he untied the bone from the car. Assuming all was well, Jed waved him off as he began running down the hall. Rexy stomped after, both yelling/roaring with delight as they turned a corner. 

“Well, looks like we’ve got some time to ourselves. Whadaya say we find a place to park and wait for that headache of yours to go away?” 

“ _Please_ look where you’re going this time. I’d rather not have a concussion before the night is over.”

Jed took off, keeping the speed slow for Octy’s sake, veering off into the gem and minerals exhibit. It was always fairly empty, since there wasn’t a lot to do with a room of non talking rocks. Jed had to admit they looked beautiful, glittering in their cases like a high class lady’s necklace. He wasn’t a sparklin’ kinda guy, but it was a nice change of pace. Parking beneath a display of rose quartz gems, the two settled onto the hood.

“This helpin’ at all?” Jed asked, noticing how Octavius squinted and groaned as he looked into the dazzling stones driving by, the bright lights reflecting off of their sharp edges.

“Just give me a moment of rest, and I shall prevail.” He said, eyes closed and hands clasped on his chest as he lay down against the hood. 

“Is it too much to ask that you answer like a normal fella?” Jed teased, laying beside him. 

“Oh, my apologies.” Octavius cleared his throat, speaking in a down right _terrible_ Southern accent. “Don't ya worry about me, buckaroo. Nothing is not gonna...Wait, no, that's not...Nothing ain't going to, no...Oh, shut up!” He lightly punched Jed in the shoulder, the cowboy too busy roaring with laughter to notice. Despite his scowl, Octavius found himself laughing along with him.

“Octy, do me a favor and stick to leadin’ an army. You’d make a terrible cowboy.”

“Well excuse me for not having a knack for butchering English like you do.”

After a minute or so they finally died down, and the two lay back in comfortable silence. The usual noise of the museum was quiet and distant, leaving them in their own little world.

Glancing over, he noticed Octavius had closed his eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he relaxed. Jed took the opportunity to admire him, his own lips turning up as well. The shape of his nose, the grey hair at his temples, even the laugh lines crinkling against his eyes were gorgeous to him. Every detail, imperfect and all, easily made him the most handsome man in the museum. 

Jedediah’s smile faded, looking away. 

“Does this mystery fella think you’re handsome?” 

Octavius turned to him, confused. “Why do you ask?"

“Forget it, it’s nothin’’.” He mumbled, fixing his eyes on a nearby display. It was some kind of green rock, not nearly as sparkly as the others. Both were quiet, but this time the silence was not comfortable. Both seemed to wait for the other to break it first, but Jed kept his mouth shut. 

Finally, Octavius spoke up. 

“I don’t know how he feels about me.” He said quietly, almost sadly. “I would like to think so, but I doubt it. I’m nothing special compared to him.”

“I don’t buy that for a second, partner.” Jed kept his gaze on the green rock. His hands formed fists, jaw clenched. Whoever this guy was, Jedediah already hated him just for how he made Octy feel like he weren't good enough. If anything, _he_ was the one too good for anyone else in the entire museum.

“It’s true. He’s just…” Octavius paused, unaware of the fire slowly growing in his friend’s gut. 

“Just?” Jed prodded.

Octavius thought for a moment. “He’s...unique. I have never met anybody like him before, and I wasn’t sure what to make of him at first. But now, I can’t imagine my life without him.” 

“Sounds nice.” 

If looks could kill, the rock would have crumbled and turned to dust right about now. 

“He’s ridiculous, loud, brave, and has more spirit and stubbornness than I thought possible for somebody so small.” Octavius continued, a teasing lilt in his voice. “I’m sure I could spend every night with him for the rest of our lives and never grow tired of his presence.”

The fire in Jed’s gut slowly rose, burning hot with jealousy and heartache. 

“Well why are you still here then?” He asked, tone clipped and icy. 

“Pardon?”

“Why spend all night with me when he’s so great?” 

“Jed-” 

Jed slid off of the hood, crossing his arms over his chest. He had his back turned to the car, glaring at another display. “He's the luckiest fella in the museum and it sounds like he don’t even know how good he’s got it. It ain’t everyday you have somebody writin’ love letters to ya, that’s for sure. He must be a real dimwit if he don’t even gotta clue how you-”

“Letters?” 

It felt like somebody threw a bucket of ice water on Jed, freezing him in place and dousing out the fire in an instant. 

“Did you...Did you find letters?” 

Oh no. 

Jed didn’t move a muscle, listening as Octavius slid off of the car as well. He could feel eyes burning holes into his head. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. His heart began to race, sweat forming on the back of his neck. 

“ _Did you?_ ” 

All of the warmth and friendliness was gone from his voice. Behind him, Jed only heard the general of the Roman army, not his best friend. It felt far too similar to their first meeting, when he came face to face with a stranger spouting nonsense about how his western home was to become part of his empire. 

Slowly, Jed turned. Octavius stood there, arms crossed tightly over his chest. His warm, soft eyes were hardened with the anger Jed KNEW was brimming under the surface. Jed gulped, finally finding his voice. 

“I, ah...Remember last night?” 

“Yes.” His harsh, short answer made Jed avert his gaze. He pulled on his gloves, clearing his throat. 

“Well, while you were at that meeting, I was looking ‘round your place. I didn’t mean nothin’ by it, I was bored and-”

“You snooped.” 

“Whoa now, hold on a sec-”

“You _snooped through my desk._ ” He shook his head in disbelief, arms dropping to his sides. “Of course, that’s why you asked if I had an interest in anybody. _Of course_ that was why!” Octavius rubbed his temples. “I’m an idiot, I can’t believe I actually thought-” He cut himself off, muttering something in Latin. 

“I’m sorry, Octy, I was just-”

“You’re _sorry_?” Octavius snapped, face turning red. “You invaded my privacy and all you have to say is ‘I’m sorry’? Jedediah, do you have _any_ idea how humiliated I feel?!” 

“What, you want me to go back in time and stop it from happenin’?” Jed snapped back, squaring up against him. “I can’t do nothin’ to change what happened. I just gotta deal with the present! What’s done is done.”

"Yes, what was done is that you read something you were not supposed to see, and now I feel like a complete fool for trusting you alone in my quarters!” 

“I was just curious! Besides, you were the one that left me sittin’ there bored outta my mind, it weren’t my fault!”

“Well it isn't _my_ fault that you apparently need to be entertained at all times like a _child!_ ”

“You’re the one that’s too yellow bellied to actually tell this guy how you feel! If ya actually gave them letters away we wouldn’t be here snappin’ our jaws at each other like rabid coyotes in the first place!”

Octavius hesitated, an unreadable expression flickering across his face before he glared daggers at him. 

“Don’t you worry about those letters. They will be gone before sunrise.” 

With a flourish of his cloak, Octavius turned back to the car. 

“Hey, this ain’t over, Roman.” Jed stormed after while he retrieved his helmet from the backseat. 

“Yes it is.” Fitting the helmet back in place, he began to walk away. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jedediah called after him, staying by the car.

“Home.” Octavius snapped back, hands clenched tightly at his sides.

Jed shook his head, glaring at the retreating back. “Alright fine, go on then! I got other things to do than chase after your sorry hide!” 

“Good! I’m sure you’ll find somebody else to annoy soon enough!” 

“You bet I will! And they won’t be a thick headed, annoying prick like a certain Roman I know!” 

“You have no right to talk about thick headed, cowboy!” 

“And don’t bother waitin’ for me tomorrow! I got plenty of folks that'd love to ride with me! I don’t need you!” 

“The feeling is mutual!”

With that, Octavius left the exhibit, leaving Jed and the car alone. Kicking the tire, Jed groaned, running his hands through his hair.

Goddamnit, what did he just do? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, boys, use your words- No not your fighting words! *sigh* Old habits die hard, I guess.


	4. Chapter 4

For a while, Jed remained among the gemstones. He drove around and around the displays, not wanting to face anybody else just yet. The fight played over and over in his mind, everytime he thought of the things he said he felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over him.

He was an idiot. A huge, giant, _STUPID_ idiot. 

Everything was going so well lately, so of course he had to go and muck it all up. He couldn’t have handled that any worse if he tried, and his chest grew tight when he thought of the look on Octavius’s face. Jed had hurt him, he knew it. They’d fought before now, but it always felt that Jed could just stroll up with an apology snack from Gigantor and everything would be right with the world again. 

Now he didn’t even know if Octavius would ever speak to him after tonight.

After a while of going in circles, figuratively and literally, Jed took the car out of the exhibit, not really paying attention to where he was going. He was sure some passing residents called out to him but he barely acknowledged them. His mind was still off thinkin’ about how badly he screwed up.

One thing about their fight was bugging him more than it had any right to. 

_“They will be gone before sunrise.”_

Why would Octavius get rid of them like that? 

Jed thought of the ones he had read yesterday, remembering how Octavius had clearly poured his heart into every word. He felt the passion Octavius felt, saw how he had stored them neat and organized, even with a little bow. Even if he had no intention of sending them, those letters still obviously meant something to him. It would almost be a crime to have such kind, heartfelt words just thrown away like they were nothing. 

Part of him wanted to drive back to Rome and find Octavius, but the other part of him that wanted to run was currently winning.

“I’m a damn coward.” He muttered, turning a corner. 

“Jedediah?” 

At the end of the hall, Ahkmenrah stood with one of those drinks Larry liked to bring every now and then. Cappuccino or something fancy like that. Intending to drive around him, Jed was surprised when a foot firmly placed itself directly in his path.

Jedediah barely stopped the car in time before colliding with his shoe. He stuck his head out of the window.

“I already crashed once tonight, Ahk, I don’ wanna make it a habit.”

Ahkmenrah frowned down at him, his expression worried. 

"I spoke with Octavius earlier.” He said softly.

Jed’s stomach dropped. 

“We should probably have a chat as well.” With that, Ahk knelt down to be closer to his level, holding a hand out expectantly. Jed stepped out, hesitating.

“I ain’t really in the mood. Can’t ya just let me wallow in misery?”

“I’m afraid not.”

Groaning, Jed begrudgingly climbed into his extended palm. Ahk carried him back to his exhibit, seeing it was the only other room that didn’t always have at least one person hanging around. It seemed most of the inhabitants were wary of the massive statues glaring at everybody who walked by. 

Jedediah, however, just waved at them cheerfully. “Howdy, boys. Lookin’ nice and menacing tonight. That a new spear?” He couldn’t tell but he was fairly certain they just rolled their eyes. The guards never gave the tiny figures a second glance, confident they were no threat to their pharaoh. Just for that Jed was tempted to sneak in and mess with them just for spite.

Ahkmenrah sat Jed on top of the sarcophagus, finishing the last of his drink. 

“Now, I’ve heard one side of the story. It’s time I hear yours.” 

He somehow managed to look all royal like while having a bit of whipped cream at the corner of his mouth. Any other time, Jed would have made a joke or two. 

“Shoot, I don’t even know where to start, Ahk.” He confessed, shrugging as he scratched the back of his neck.

“I’ve heard the beginning is a very good place to start.” 

“Did you just quote The Sound of Music at me?” 

“Unintentionally, but yes. Now, what happened?”

With a sigh, Jedediah began pacing up and down the carved coffin. “I messed up big time that’s what happened. You know the phrase ‘curiosity killed the cat’? Well this cat went and stuck his nose where he shouldn’t have and now I don’t know what to do.” 

“Talking is usually a good place to start.” 

“I did! It got me nowhere with him!” 

"Did you talk, or did you argue?"

"Alright, fine, we got into a big ol' spat an' he stormed off, ya happy now?" Jed growled, frustrated. “I already said I was sorry! I know what I did was wrong, and he’s got every right to be mad at me, but I don’t know what else he wants me to do. I just…” Letting out a sigh, Jed’s shoulders slumped.

“I just...I don’t want him to hate me.” He confessed, feeling drained. 

“Why did you read those letters in the first place?” Ahk asked, setting the empty cup beside the case.

“I didn't know what they were. I thought they were just boring lists or something, y'know? I knew he’d be mad if he found out, I just didn’t know he’d be THIS mad.” 

“If your roles were reversed, wouldn't you feel the same?”

Jed thought for a moment. He pictured himself writing down his feelings for Octavius, things he would never say in person, things that sound embarrassing just to think about. The thought of somebody else coming across them, reading something so vulnerable and personal, made his blood boil and his cheeks flare up nice and red like a cherry.

“I’d be hoppin’ mad, that’s for sure. And pretty dang mortified on top of it.” Sighing, Jed rubbed the back of his neck. “I get where he’s coming from, Ahk, I really do. I’m just not sure I can make this up to him.” 

The thought of going back to the way things were before Larry came around made Jed’s heart sink. Sure, it was easy to fight when he was just a weirdo in a cape with an army. But he was more than that now. He was _Octavius._ He was the best friend Jedediah had ever had, this life or the last. 

And Jed went and said some pretty rotten stuff. Maybe Octy deserved a better friend anyway…

“Look, Jed, I know he’s upset right now, but _trust_ me. He _will_ forgive you.” Ahk insisted.

“I wouldn’t be so confident ‘bout that, partner. You didn’t hear the things I said.”

“True, but I do know that you two care about each other too much to let one fight tear you apart. You’ve been through worse, right?”

Jed shrugged. 

“See? Now, go talk to our Roman friend before he freezes this morning with a scowl. It's really not a good look for him.”

Snorting, Jed felt a grin tug on the corner of his lips. “Alright, alright. I’ll see what I can do, but don’t be surprised if ya wake up tomorrow and I got myself a fresh black eye.”

Ahk rolled his eyes, grinning as he held out his hand. Jed climbed on and was carefully lowered back to the ground. 

“I wish I could say that you’re exaggerating, but...well, my Latin is rusty, but he did say some colorful things about where you can stick your stubborn head.” 

Jed couldn’t help but let out a laugh at that. 

“Yeah, I bet he did. Thanks, Ahk.” With a wave, Jed began his walk down the corridor out of the Egyptian exhibit. 

“Are you sure you don’t want a lift?” 

“Nah, I’d rather walk. By the way, ya got cream on your face.” 

He might not speak Egyptian, but Jed recognized a curse when he heard one. 

\---

The car was left behind, so Jed had a long walk ahead of him. About halfway through he contemplated running back just to take Ahk up on his offer to carry him, but thought better of it. He made sure to stick to the sides to avoid being trampled on as an ostrich raced by, followed by one of the mammoths. In the distance, he could hear Rexy’s roar echoing through the halls.

Jed let his mind wander as he made his way through the museum, taking time to observe the various displays for once without worrying about driving into something. It didn’t take long for his thoughts to drift back to Octavius, and he wished the general was with him. He’d probably get a kick out of actually reading the plaques, hell he’d probably spend a whole night just having Jedediah driving him from display to display, learning all he could about the world outside Rome. 

He smiled, making sure to remember that for later. He had quite a bit of making up to do, after all. 

The cavemen had found a soccer ball and were playing an impromptu game in one of the halls, forcing Jed to take a longer route back to the car. He picked up the pace, nearly running. At this rate, he wouldn’t make it back in time to find Octavius before sunrise.

As if on cue, Larry’s voice boomed over the intercom above. 

_“Alright, everyone, 30 minute warning! 30 minutes! Oh and whoever threw toilet paper around the lobby? Not cool, man. Not cool.”_

“Shoot!” Jed began sprinting down the halls, doding the inhabitants' feet with ease.

“Comin’ through, watch yourself, 'scuse me!” 

Finally, he spotted the little car, eagerly slamming into the driver’s seat. His elation was short lived, however. The car barely moved halfway down the corridor before it crawled to a halt. 

“Aw, for cryin’ out loud!” Slamming his hand against the horn, Jed leaned his head back against the seat and groaned loudly.

_Of course_ the battery died. It just _had_ to be tonight, didn’t it? 

Leaving the car for Larry to deal with, Jed bolted down the hall. The diorama room was still far off, and he wasn’t sure how much time he had left. Legs throbbing and chest burning, Jed didn’t stop, keeping an eye out for someone to give him a hand. 

Unfortunately for him, it seemed that the others had already begun to make their way back in place, leaving the corridors empty. 

_‘Come on, Jed, you got this. You got this!_ ’ He thought, running faster.

\----

The Roman diorama was quiet as the figures began to resume their positions. Octavius hesitated at his desk, helmet held under his arm. On the surface before him sat the letters, their red strings tied neatly into bows as always. 

_‘It’s not difficult, just do it.’_

Despite that thought, he couldn’t bring himself to move. As angry as he was, no matter how mortified he felt, he just couldn’t do it. 

Even if he did rip them to shreds like he had planned, his feelings would not change. His hopeless heart would still race every time he heard that laugh, or whenever their eyes met. He would still yearn to reach over and hold his hand, or lean over and kiss him until sunrise. 

“Jedediah, what have you done to me?” With a sigh, Octavius carefully placed the paper back into the desk, feeling exhausted. 

Thankfully, he came across the young pharaoh during his march back home. Hitching a ride, he couldn’t hide the crimson coloring his face, or the deep frown. Of course Ahkmenrah noticed something was wrong right away, so Octavius had let his feelings out. The young man had listened patiently, sympathetic to his troubles. 

He was so upset he couldn’t even be bothered to be embarrassed to admit he had written love letters for the cowboy. At least Ahkmenrah had the good sense to promise to not tell anybody about it, though going by the knowing look in his eyes, Octavius had a feeling his romantic thoughts of Jedediah were not as subtle as he had thought. 

“Oh, subtle, schmubtle, I could have professed my love from the heavens and he still wouldn’t hear me.” He grumbled, slamming the drawer shut. To think that he was _so close_ to finally confessing how he felt that night, too. 

What did he think of the letters? Were they too...emotional? Octavius knew he had a habit of getting carried away sometimes, of course he never thought he would actually have to worry about that. As far as he was concerned, those writings would never see the light of day. Er, the light of the moon.

Leave it to Jedediah to ruin his plans, and to think they were for someone else on top of it. As if there could _ever_ be another man for him!

Part of him had hoped Jedediah would seek him out, even if it would just end up turning into another fight. Octavius wasn’t sure which was worse; the fact that he didn’t or the fact that he hid in his room the rest of the night like a coward. 

“Perhaps he has a point about me being yellow stomached, or whatever that strange phrase was.”

Well, he would prove he was no coward. Tomorrow, he would seek out his friend. He just hoped Jedediah would actually listen to him.

Placing his helmet back, Octavius steeled himself. He was still a general, and he had a job to do. 

Exiting the room, he saw that his men were already in place, awaiting the inevitable sunrise. Octavius nodded to them, settling in his own spot. 

They were mere moments away, he could feel it. His limbs began to slowly lock in place, turning from flesh to plastic. 

Before he lost himself to darkness once again, he heard footsteps run frantically into the room. 

“Oh no no no, where’s Jed?” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very busy today so if there's any typos or mistakes I'll fix it later! Hope y'all are likin'it!


	5. Chapter 5

Larry looked through the dioramas, but sure enough, the blond cowboy was nowhere to be seen. The figures had already turned back to lifeless miniatures, and he ran an anxious hand through his hair. 

His other hand held the remote car, empty and abandoned on the far side of the museum. 

Despite how determined the man was, Larry knew Jedediah had no chance of making it back on foot before sunrise. He scanned the floors intently as he ran, looking for a flash of a familiar blue shirt, or black hat. When he saw none, he hoped he had somehow made it in time, but it seemed he was wrong. Octavius had somehow made it back before him, at least. 

Turning back around, Larry was determined to do another sweep of the halls. There was still time before the museum opened for the day. He flinched just imagining an unfortunate visitor stepping on the little figure. Or thinking he was a toy and bringing him home, or throwing him away, or- 

_'Not helping, Larry. Get your head in the game!’_

Running from one side of the museum to the other, Larry had to stop and take a break. His breathing was ragged, face slick with sweat and he could barely feel his legs. Exhaustion began to overtake him, and he knew he couldn’t last much longer without at least a nap. 

Being a night guard could never be easy, could it? 

After making one final check of the halls, Larry was at least confident that Jed wasn’t in plain sight. He must have found a place to hide, somewhere safe until the next night. 

Still, the thought did little to comfort Larry as he left the museum, early morning sunlight piercing through the clouds above. 

\----

One _long_ nap, two cups of coffee, and a quick shower later, Larry walked through the museum doors once more. At this time he had an assistant. 

“So where do you think he hid?” Nicky asked as they passed Rexy. Erica had dropped him off earlier in the day, and Larry had filled him in on the situation. Nicky insisted on going back and looking again, hopeful that two pairs of eyes would give them a better shot at finding the missing cowboy. 

“I’m not sure, kiddo. He’s so small he could have hidden anywhere.” 

“You, Larry, perfect timing.” The duo were approached by McPhee, already in a bad mood despite how early it was. “You know what this is?” He asked, holding up an empty Starbucks cup in his hand. 

“The only way I'm able to get around during the day?” 

“Haha, very funny Mr. Comedy Man. Except it’s not funny. At all.” Throwing the cup into a nearby trash bin, Larry braced himself for an incoming lecture. 

“Hey, Nick, why don’t you go on without me. I’ll catch up with you later.” 

Nodding, Nicky hurried off, eyeing the floors carefully. Larry tried to discreetly do the same while McPhee went on.

“Now, you mind telling me why I had a visitor inform me that this was sitting next to our sarcophagus this morning? Did our Egyptian friend fancy himself a nice macchiato last night?”

“It was actually a white chocolate mocha with whipped cream. He usually gets a latte, though, but they were out of the stuff so.” Larry shrugged. "Happens, y'know?"

McPhee was not amused, crossing his arms. Larry sighed. “Sorry, sorry. Won’t happen again. Promise, no more Starbucks.” 

“Good. Because if it does…” He trailed off, making a vague gesture with his hands. “Am I clear?” 

“Always, yup. Never questioned you for a moment, sir.” 

Satisfied, McPhee turned to leave. Before he could take more than a few steps Larry spoke up. 

“Oh, uh, has anybody found anything else out of place? At all, today? No?” 

“...No, why?” McPhee asked, suspicious. "Should there be?"

"Nope! Nope, not at all. Everything's fine." 

Not entirely convinced, McPhee shook his head, muttering to himself about ‘bumbling night guards’ and walking away. Larry quickly made his way deeper into the museum. 

There weren’t as many guests as usual, given the early hour, but Larry still found himself getting strange looks as he tried to inconspicuously peek around display cases and underneath benches. He ignored them, peering intently through the exhibits, looking for a hidden bit of blond hair but found nothing. It seemed wherever Jedediah had tucked himself away, he was well hidden. 

_‘Maybe we don’t have to worry after all._ ’ He thought optimistically, walking up to the second floor.

His optimism crashed and burned when he spotted Nicky by the rail that oversaw the lobby below. He was talking to a small group of older boys that were tossing something back and forth like a hot potato. They ignored Nicky asking them to stop, laughing as he tried to grab the object in the air, sailing too high above his head.

“Hey, guys. Do we have a problem over here?” Larry approached the group, sharing a worried look with Nicky. 

“Uh, no. Just playing around.” The tallest one said, shaggy brown hair stuffed under a baseball cap. He tossed the object into the air and caught it repeatedly. 

Larry felt his heart skip a beat every time it looked like he would miss and send the prone figure of Jedediah crashing to the ground.

“Where’d you get that cowboy, kid?” 

The boy scoffed, his little posse joining him, crossing their arms and acting like they were too cool to talk to Larry. “Where’d you get that sweater, dude? Looks like something my grandma would wear.” He and his friends laughed, far too pleased with themselves. 

“Wow, good one. You've really got a bright future ahead of you in stand up. Now, the cowboy, where was he?” Larry asked, pointing to Jed sitting in the boy’s hand.

The brown haired teen rolled his eyes. "What, you thinking _bought_ it or something? I just found this dumb thing by the trash. I don't play with dolls, man."

“You probably shouldn't go around grabbing stuff you find around trash, just keep that in mind." Larry said. “Since you’re clearly too hip and cool for toys, I'll take him off your hands.” As he reached forward, the kid held Jed out of reach. 

“Is it yours, pal?” 

It was _far_ too early for a headache. He wasn’t even on the clock yet.

“No, but he isn’t yours, either.” 

“Finders keepers. How much do you want for it?” 

“You’re kidding, right?”

“You don’t want it, I'll just throw it out.”

“Dad…” Nicky whispered, eyes glancing between him and Jed anxiously. Larry sighed heavily. 

“Fine. Five bucks.” 

“Ten.” 

“Seriously? Kid, where are your parents?”

The kid shrugged. “Ten bucks, dude, take it or leave it.” 

“How about you hand him over before I escort you and your little buddies out of here? You're messing with the night guard, pal.” 

The kids glanced at each other, unimpressed. “Suns still up, man. You don’t tell me what to do.” The teen tossed Jed in the air again, catching him before Larry could reach out and snag him. 

"How about you hand it over before I get my boss and tell him you're handling museum property?"

The kid paused. "Wait, it's from that mini room? How the hell did it get by the trash then, Mr. Night Guard? That part of your job or something?"

"Kid, it's a long story, just give him back."

He thought for a moment,smirking. “Tell you what; make it fifteen and I won’t tell your boss you’re out here harassing the guests AND that you like to mess around with _museum property_ while you're working. Who do you think he'd be more pissed at?” 

There it was. There was the headache.

“ _A_ _lright_ , fine. You win, you little punk.” Pulling out his wallet, Larry begrudgingly handed over the cash. “Here, happy now?” 

“Thanks, man.” Taking the money, Larry barely had time to register the wicked gleam in his eye before he reared his arm back, launching Jedediah over the railing. 

“Jed!” Larry ran to the edge, watching in horror as the cowboy slammed against the giant globe, bouncing off and smacking onto the floor. There was a loud _snap_ and _crunch_ that made his stomach twist. 

Ignoring the teens laughter and high fives, Larry and Nicky raced down the stairs, nearly knocking a guest out of their way. Larry knelt on the ground, gingerly picking up the miniature. 

“Is he okay, dad?” Nicky asked, looking over his shoulder. 

Larry shook his head. 

“Nick, we’ve got a problem.” He said, holding up Jed for him to see. 

The cowboy’s arm had snapped clean off, one of his legs barely hanging on for dear life and his nose was nearly gone, only a small chunk left on his plastic face.

Luckily, the arm had fallen not too far from them, but Larry looked at the broken figure in his hand with a feeling of helplessness. 

How do you fix someone who only came to life at night? Superglue? Would it be good as new, or would Jed not be able to use it again? And what about his leg? And what about his _nose_? 

He and Nicky sat in the lobby, ignoring the strange looks they got as they huddled close together, fretting over a piece of plastic. 

“How did Sacajawea fix Teddy? We could try that.” Nicky offered, carefully examining the tiny arm. It wasn't a pretty sight, with jagged points sticking out of the stump. His nose was definitely the more concerning. 

“I never asked her. Wait, should Jed be awake when we do this? Or would it be better while he’s still frozen?” 

"If he wakes up tonight without his arm, would it stay as plastic or change with the rest of him?"

That brought up mental images Larry did _not_ want to imagine.

"Crap, you have a point. Maybe if he just...I don't know, Nick…"

Groaning, Larry rubbed his temple. It made him feel awful, looking down at his mangled friend. He thought back to the neanderthal, looking directly at him as he turned to dust. 

No matter if they were just wax or plastic, Larry had felt guilty then and he felt guilty now. If only he found the car earlier, maybe he could have found Jed and given him a lift back to the old west. Or if he hadn’t spent so much time cleaning toilet paper out of the lobby he might have noticed, or if he-

“Dad?” Nicky brought his spiraling thoughts to a halt. “Maybe we should leave Jed at your place tonight. He’ll be safe there at least, and we can ask Sacajawea for help. She'll have a better idea how to fix him than we do.” 

Larry smiled. “Don’t know what I’d do without you, kiddo.” He said, ruffling his hair. Nicky grinned back at him. 

“So, which of us is going to break the news to the other figures?” 

“Oooh nooo…” Larry whined, hanging his head. Telling the other cowboys their leader was out of commission wasn't going to be fun, but at least they wouldn't freak out _that_ much.

_Octavius_ on the other hand...

“Not it!” 

“Not- Argh!” 

Nicky grinned triumphantly.

“Good luck with that, dad.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the only short chapter, yet somehow it gave me the most headaches to write/edit.


	6. Chapter 6

As the sun set over the city skylines, the museum residents stretched their legs for another night of freedom. Rome soon became bustling once more, the soldiers gearing up for another night of training. All in all, another average night. 

Octavius, however, woke up panicked.

He ignored his comrades as he rushed past them, racing to the edge of the diorama. His hands were a blur as he quickly grabbed the rope, propelling himself down. 

“Jedediah!” He called up to his neighboring exhibit. No response. 

He yelled out again, only to have several questioning cowboys poke their heads over the edge instead. 

“He ain’t with you?” One of them asked. Octavius shook his head. They exchanged worried looks among themselves. 

“Jed never came back last night, we figured you’d know where he was, partner.”

"See, Noah, I told ya somethin' was fishy!" One of them exclaimed, turning to a younger cowboy beside him.

"Hey, it weren't my fault! I figured they were just busy, y'know?"

"Same, I thought they done figured it all out. Looks like all bets are still on the table!" Another said, turning to yell into the diorama. "Gimme back my nice boots, Isaac! They ain't worked it out yet!"

"Aw, come _ON!_ " A voice complained from deep within the exhibit. 

Before Octavius could respond, Larry came bounding into the room, out of breath. “Hey! Hey, um...I need everyone’s attention, alright?” He said, talking loud enough for the miniatures to hear him. The figures glanced up at him curiously, exchanging glances with one another.

“As I’m sure some of you have noticed, we’re missing a cowboy.” 

A murmur of whispers broke up among the west, Octavius’ heart racing in anticipation. He HAD heard Larry correctly last night after all. He had hoped it was all part of some twisted dream. 

Larry held his hands up, trying to shush the figures. “Easy, now, guys. Don’t worry, Nicky and I found him during the day. But…” He hesitated, looking at the small faces before finally landing on Octavius at his feet. The general did _not_ like the look he saw in his eyes before turning back to the diorama.

“He had a little accident this morning. Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious, he just got a little scraped up, but hey, you know Jed. Nothing can keep him down, right?” 

"Is he comin' back tonight?" The younger cowboy, Noah, asked. 

"Yeah, where's he at?" Another piped up, and before long all of the western residents were crowded along the edge of the exhibit, shouting questions at Larry. 

"Guys, guys!" He yelled, waiting for the nose to die down before continuing. "Yeah, he should be back tonight, but we have to take care of some things first. We've got this covered, don't worry about it!"

The westerners continued to murmur, still uneasy, but they seemed to accept Larry's word that Jedediah would return soon. Octavius, however, only felt more worried.

“How serious was this accident?” Octavius asked, fear creeping into the pit of his stomach when Larry didn’t answer right away. 

“Why don’t you come with me for a sec, Oct.” Without waiting for a response, Larry picked the small Roman up, ignoring his protests. “You guys get back to whatever you usually do, don’t worry. Everything is fine. Jed will be back before you know it!” 

He quickly fled the room, ignoring the yelling from the palm of his hand until something sharp stabbed his thumb, _hard._

“Ow!” Yelping, Larry nearly dropped Octavius, who was returning his sword to its sheath. “What was that for?” 

“It seemed to do the trick. Now tell me, what happened to Jedediah?” Octavius demanded, doing his best to remain serious and intimidating, as a true military leader. 

Larry hesitated. "I...I'll be honest, it's not good. We're going to have a little meeting to figure this out, alright? Come on, we can't waste time." He explained, resuming his run through the museum. Octavius held onto his thumb for stability, mind racing with worst case scenarios. 

After a while, Larry, Ahkmenrah, Teddy, Sacajawea, Nicky and Octavius were gathered around the lobby desk. Octavius was placed in Nicky’s hand as he sat on top, the concerned look in his eyes only making Octavius more anxious than ever. 

“What seems to be the problem, Lawrence?” Teddy asked. 

Larry took a deep breath.

“Okay, we have a little problem with Jed. I don’t know how, but he didn’t make it back to the west last night. I found him earlier today with Nicky. Long story short he…” Larry trailed off, looking down, guilt in his eyes. 

“He’s in bad shape. I mean, REALLY bad shape. I don’t know how to fix him, so…” He gestured to Sacajawea, who nodded in understanding. 

“I’ll do what I can to help, Larry.” 

Relieved, Larry smiled at her. “THANK YOU.”

“Where is he?” Octavius didn’t bother to keep up his military demeanor, staring up at Larry with naked, vulnerable fear in his eyes. His blood ran cold, heart hammering against his ribs as the words played endlessly in his mind. 

_I don’t know how to fix him I don’t know how to fix him I don’t know how to-_

“Nick and I decided to keep him at my apartment, for now.” Larry explained. “He’s safe there, I can bring him in later if I need to, I just didn’t want him to wake up without his-” 

Larry abruptly cut himself off, shifting uncomfortably. 

“Without his _what?_ ” The fear surged through him, unable to keep it from his voice any longer. What happened? Where was he? How did he not make it back?

_‘Was it my fault this happened?’_

Ahkmenrah spoke up. “If he is...Well, _missing_ parts it may have been best to not have him here tonight. I’m not certain it would come to life with the rest of him, otherwise.” 

Horrific images flashed through Octavius’s mind. 

"That's what I was worried about. Can the tablet do anything to help us?" Larry asked. Ahk thought for a moment.

"The tablet is powerful, yes, but I don't think it could magically put our friend back together all by itself. We need to do that ourselves, but once that's done the tablet should do it's job and finish what we started."

"When Teddy was cut in half, the magic took hold and fixed everything once I had melted his body back together." Sacajawea explained. "I don't see why it shouldn't do the same for him.” 

"Do you think you can do that?" 

"It's hard to say without seeing his injuries for myself."

"Hang on a sec, I took pictures." Larry pulled out his phone, Octavius watching her face closely as she scrolled through the photos. She remained stoic and focused, however, keeping her mind on the task at hand. 

Until she smiled and giggled. 

“Where did you get this one?” 

Teddy looked over her shoulder, breaking out into a large grin and a hearty chuckle 

“Well, don’t you two look cozy! I’m glad you finally worked things out!” He said, saluting Octavius. “Never thought it would happen, congratulations!” 

Octavius blinked.

“I’m sorry, I don’t-”

Larry snatched the phone back. “No, that’s not- You know what? We don’t have time. So, what do you think?” 

“I believe I can help put him back together, I just need to gather some supplies. Also, I think it would be best to have him stay asleep while we do this. I'm not certain this will work if he was conscious, and even if it does I'd rather not do it regardless.”

"Yes, seeing your dismembered limb getting reattached _would_ be quite alarming." Ahk pointed out. "I say fixing him outside the museum and bringing him home in one piece gives us our best chance at this working."

“Okay, cool that’s fine. I'll take you to my place, Sac. Teddy, Ahk, you two can handle things here while we’re gone, yeah?” 

“Of course, Larry.” 

“We’ll take care of everything, don’t you worry, my boy!” Teddy said, enthusiastically slapping him on the shoulder. Larry rubbed at it, grinning through the pain. 

“Sac, grab whatever you think you need and I’ll-”

"I’m coming with you.” Octavius interrupted. Larry looked down at him, hesitant. 

“Octavius, I…” He paused, and Octavius could see him struggling to come up with an excuse to refuse. “I need you to stay with the other figures and keep an eye on them.” 

He firmly shook his head. 

“No. I cannot just stand by while Jedediah needs help.” He declared, steely determination filling his gaze. 

"Trust me, you _really_ don't want to see this."

"I can handle it. He's my friend, he would do the same for me."

Larry glanced around the group, uncertain, until Nicky spoke up. 

“Dad, he's right. Besides, I can keep an eye on them.” 

“You sure?” 

Nicky nodded, setting Octavius on the desk. After a moment, Larry finally nodded. “Alright, now let’s not waste moonlight. Let’s go, team!” 

The group split up, Nicky to the dioramas, Teddy and Ahk to see how the others were doing, and Sacajawea was off to gather supplies that might be helpful. Octavius was left on the desk, Larry hovering nearby. 

“What picture was she talking about?”

“Don't worry about it."

\----

The city night life wasn’t very different from the day time, with people rushing to work or returning home from a long shift. Nobody paid any mind as a security guard and Native American woman walked through the streets, for they’ve seen far stranger things. Besides, they were too busy to deal with it. They had places to be after all. 

Octavius watched the city pass by from Larry’s pocket as they got into a cab. The lights blurred as they drove by, the small general awed by the sheer size of everything. He never got the proper time to really admire the outside last time, since he was more preoccupied with cheering excitedly with Jedediah as they chased after a rogue station wagon.

Jed…

Guilt swam in his gut, dampening his mood considerably. If only he hadn’t stormed away, perhaps Jedediah would have made it back before sunrise. Or if he hadn’t stayed hidden away in his room he would have realized the cowboy had not returned, and set out to find him before it was too late. 

_‘If I had just given him those letters instead of stashing them away, we would have never had that fight in the first place…’_

Of course, he was still upset that Jedediah had looked through his belongings. However, he could understand a little curiosity, and perhaps if he had nothing in his desk at all he wouldn’t have cared in the slightest. 

Octavius ducked back into the pocket as the cab rolled to a stop. He felt slightly queasy as Larry walked, bouncing him around. Especially when he ran up the stairs, oh no, stairs were worse. _Definitely worse._

Mercifully, Larry pulled him out as they arrived at his apartment. “You ready?” He asked, pulling out his keys. Sacajawea nodded, Octavius giving a thumbs up as the last waves of nausea rolled through his stomach. 

The apartment was dark and messy, the smell of take out containers and old coffee in the air. Larry led the two to a desk, carefully setting the tiny Roman on top of a book before opening a drawer. 

Octavius braced himself for whatever he was about to see, not even daring to breathe as Larry gingerly pulled out the plastic figure. 

“Oh, _gods_ …” He gasped, hand flying up to cover his mouth as he stared in horror at the sight before him.

His lifeless appearance was almost as distressing to see as his injuries, which sent chills down his spine. As Larry set him down on a paper towel, Octavius hesitantly reached out to caress his cheek. 

It felt...wrong. This wasn’t Jedediah. He wasn’t this cold, this hard. He couldn’t even feel stubble growing on his cheek. And his eyes were never this dull, never this empty. They were bright with excitement and mischief. They sparkled more brilliantly than sapphires. Never _this._

“Octavius?” Sacajawea delicately began examining him, and he took the hint to move back. He watched her work, holding him as carefully as if he were glass, humming to herself. Larry stood behind her, antsy. Neither man spoke for several minutes, the air thick as they watched intently. 

“Will he be alright?” Octavius finally asked, fidgeting with his cloak. She gave him a reassuring smile. Her eyes were warm with understanding, and Octavius once again realized how awful he truly was at hiding his feelings for the broken man before them. 

“I think he’ll be just fine. His arm is the easiest, it is his nose and leg I’m concerned about.” She explained, gently tapping the twisted leg. Octavius tried his best not to recoil looking at the shape it made. She continued. 

“A large part of his nose is gone, so that will have to be replaced entirely. We need to use clay and sculpt it to reshape his nose. I’m not sure I can get the details just right, given the small size of it.”

“I will do it.” Octavius declared. “Please, show me what I must do.” 

“Thank you. Larry, would you get this superglue you mentioned earlier?” 

She patiently guided Octavius through repairing his nose. She had brought some tools and clay with her from the museum, taking the time to show him how to sculpt and shape with the material. As he practiced, she took the time to prepare the paint, since the clay was a tad too light for Jedediah’s complexion. Thankfully, Larry had leftover paint from an old art kit of Nickys. 

Octavius focused as he carefully began shaping the clay onto Jed’s face. Finally, all those years of admiring the strange cowboy in the next diorama was paying off. He felt confident as he worked, pushing aside any doubt lingering in his mind. 

After some final details and a layer of paint, it more or less resembled Jedediah’s old nose. Sacajawea assured him that once he woke up in the museum, the tablet’s magic would take effect and it would fuse with the rest of him, becoming plastic once more.

“It will be as if he never lost it in the first place.” She explained, picking up his arm and the superglue. “When Teddy was cut in half, my patch job looked pretty odd as well. But once the magic took hold, it was as if nothing had happened to him at all.” 

“Will he know something has changed once he comes to?” Octavius asked, one hand firmly gripping Jed’s other hand as she worked. The stiffness was disconcerting, but he hoped that somehow Jedediah could feel it and know he was there with him. 

“If he looks into a mirror, he may notice his nose is a little more crooked, but that should be all. No, no, that was just a joke. You did a fine job of making his nose. Don’t make that face.” She hastily added, seeing the glum frown overtaking his expression. Once the glue was on the broken arm stump, she pressed it firmly back in it’s socket, with Octavius helping of course. 

“There we are, good as new.” She pulled back after letting the glue dry. Octavius let out a breath of relief when it didn’t immediately fall back off. All that was left was his leg, halfway broken and bent unnaturally. Thankfully, the two were able to bend it back into place, adding more superglue to the joints. The glue seemed to do the job, and it looked as good as new. Sacajawea prepared more paint to give the cowboy a few final touch ups, and then he would be ready. 

Relieved to have him back in one piece, Octavius tightened his hold on the plastic hand, rubbing his thumb across the hard surface. It was still unnerving to see him in this state, but after seeing it in pieces he would take this form happily. 

“Only you could go through all of this and still somehow keep that hat of yours in the end.” He mused out loud, as Larry and Sacajawea talked among themselves, waiting for the glue and paint to fully dry.

_'Of course, losing one's limbs would undoubtedly cause more alarm in the average person than losing a piece of clothing, but you were never an average person.’_

Octavius would never spend so much time writing poetry about dazzling blue eyes if he were just some cowboy. He wasn’t just some cowboy, however. He was Jedediah Smith. Brave, wonderful, ridiculous Jedediah Smith.

Even in this state, Octavius felt just as strongly about him. His love was as eternal as the sun rising and setting, after all.

“Oh gods, he didn’t read that one, did he?” Octavius felt his cheeks burn. As true as it may be, it still felt embarrassing just to think of some of the things he wrote in the heat of the moment. 

“Did you say something?”

“No, nothing.” 

After making sure everything else was back in order, the next order of business was figuring out when to return their friend to the museum.

“Right away, of course.” 

“Octavius, I don’t know if-”

“If you will not return him I will do so myself!”

“The longer we stand here arguing, the closer we are to sunrise.” Sac interrupted, the tiny figures resting in her hands. “I believe Octavius is right, Larry. The only way to know for sure if it worked is to let him wake up as soon as possible.” 

“You’re right, yeah.” Larry sighed. “I’m just...what if it didn’t work?” He admitted, looking at Jed with uncertainty. "What if we didn't use enough glue, or what if the magic isn't enough? What if-"

Sacajawea put a reassuring hand on his arm. 

“I understand, but delaying it will do nothing but cause everyone more stress and uncertainty. This has to be done tonight, Larry.” 

Larry thought about that for a moment. Finally, he nodded, checking his watch. “Well then, I guess we better head back. And hope for the best.” 

Octavius remained nestled in Sacajawea’s cupped palms, shielded from curious eyes of those passing by. She was already a much better person to hitch a ride from than Larry. She at least had some grace to her steps. He didn’t even feel the slightest bit queasy as she carefully walked back down the stairs.

Jedediah’s prone figure was cradled carefully in his arms. Every jostle made Octavius grip him tighter, knuckles turning white. Realistically, he knew he was perfectly safe. However, he refused to let go. The last thing he needed was to accidentally lose his grip and have Jedediah plummet to the ground, this time broken beyond repair. 

_'I should have never left you last night.’_ He thought, a fresh wave of guilt rocking through him. There were probably a million things he could have done to prevent this from happening. If only he could go back in time and-

Jedediah’s words from the other night came back to him. 

_“I can’t do nothin’ to change what happened. I just gotta deal with the present! What’s done is done.”_

“I suppose there’s a brain in that thick skull of yours, after all.” He said, giving his plastic friend a small smile.

Yes, there wasn’t anything he could do to stop the events from last night happening.

But he would be damned if he didn’t do everything in his power to make sure their future didn’t suffer as a result.

“May I ask for a favor once we’re home?” He asked, catching Sacajawea's attention. 

"Yes?” 

“I need to return to Rome immediately, before he awakens.” 


	7. Chapter 7

Despite being inanimate, the museum exhibits still found themselves dreaming during the day. 

Jedediah didn’t find himself dreaming very often, but when he did he usually remembered them better than the others in the old west. Sometimes he and the others would gather around and listen to everybody take turns sharing their latest dream. It used to be one of his favorite pastime, back when they used to be locked up every night. Before Larry had worked there, giving them freedom they never thought possible.

Opening his eyes, he was hit with harsh sunlight. Raising a hand to shield them, he looked around. He wasn’t in the museum. Hell, it didn’t even look like he was in New York anymore. It looked like...home. The skies were blue and clear above, fields going on as far as the eye could see, cattle grazing happily. Somewhere, a horse whinnied. 

Turning around, he saw a ranch home, quaint and cozy. It looked like it had braved several long years of nature’s temper tantrums already. A calico cat slept peacefully on the front porch, tail flickering as she dreamed. 

Looking down, Jed saw he wore his usual blue button up and jeans. He grinned, taking in the view of hills in the distance.

The sun felt warm on his back, the wind blowing strands of blond hair across his face. Jed closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He could smell the trees, hear bees buzzing, and even the cat snoring. Man, she really had a pair of lungs on her. 

His eyes snapped open. 

That wasn’t the cat. 

Looking around, Jed spotted a large tree off to the side of the house, it’s large branches covering a hammock in a comfortable patch of shade. He could see somebody laying in the hammock with one leg and arm hanging over the edge. Short, dark hair swayed gently in the breeze. From his spot, Jed could barely see the gray hairs growing at the temples.

Octavius.

Tiptoeing closer, Jed realized he wasn’t wearing his normal general gear. Instead he wore a red button up, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and dark blue jeans. He looked peaceful, swinging lazily in the air. Jed hesitantly reached out to softly touch his cheek. His skin was warm and smooth, just like he thought it would be. Leaning into his touch, Octavius smiled, letting out a content sigh. Jed felt like his heart might burst at the sight. 

“See something you like?” Soft brown eyes slowly opened up, and Jed may as well have forgotten how to breathe altogether. He couldn’t move, limbs frozen as he stared with wide eyes, hand still resting on his face. 

Octavius rolled his eyes. “If you’re going to interrupt my nap you may as well join me.” He moved over as gracefully as one can in a hammock, and Jed happily obliged. Arms wrapped around him, pulling him tight against a warm, solid chest. 

“If you snore too loud I’m kicking you off.” Octavius warned, making Jed roll his eyes. “Aw, that ain’t fair.” He said, nuzzling deeper into the embrace. “Your snoring’ can make the coyotes howl in pain.” 

Octy just huffed, the two of them settling comfortably into the hammock. The ranch was quiet, and Jed tried to memorize everything. The warmth of his body, the muscles he felt moving with every breath, and how Octavius delicately ran his hands through his hair. 

“Did I die? 'Cuz it sure feels like I found my own bit of heaven right here.” 

“If this is the afterlife, I don’t think I mind it one bit.” Octavius reached down to take one of his hands, holding it tightly in his own. 

Jed felt like he was melting like butter spread on a biscuit. Everything felt warm and fuzzy, and he couldn’t even bring himself to pretend to be embarrassed about the love struck grin on his face. 

He would never have this when he woke, why not just enjoy the moment?

“I must go, _carissime_.” 

Jed’s brows furrowed, confused. 

“Where you goin’?” 

Octavius didn’t seem to hear him. 

“I’m sorry, Jedediah. I swear, I won’t let this happen to you again.” 

“The heck are you talkin’ about?” 

Octavius squeezed his hand, and the dream began to fade away. 

“Hey, wait! I ain’t ready to wake up yet!” Desperately, Jed reached out, but he was already slipping away. 

“I’ll see you soon, I promise.” 

Slowly, awareness returned to him. He blinked rapidly as his body began to unfreeze. The lights above him were much less bright, and there was no bright sun or clear sky to be seen.

He was back in the museum, the peaceful ranch left behind.

He was also mere inches from Gigantor’s huge face.

“AAAH!!” Jed shrieked, scrambling back on the lobby desk. “What’re ya tryin’ to do?! Gimme a heart attack?!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Larry backed away. “I just wanted to make sure things were...you know, okay."

Jed looked around the empty lobby. 

“Mind tellin’ me How’d I got here, partner?” He asked, arms wide as he gestured to the room. “Last thing I remember was havin’ to hide behind a trash can. The dang car battery died on me last night!”

“I know, I found it.” Larry was giving him a funny look, making Jed squirm on the spot. 

“Do I got somethin’ on my face? Or are ya just mesmerized by my good looks?” He quipped, successfully snapping Larry out of it. 

“Sorry, just…How do you feel? Anything hurt? Any, I don’t know, headaches?” 

Jed narrowed his eyes, suspicious. 

“Am I missin’ something? You’re actin’ weirder than a opossum caught in the daylight.” 

Before Larry could answer, Nicky came running up to the two of them, grinning excitedly. 

“Jed, you’re back! Feeling better?” 

Jedediah put his hands on his hips, frustrated. 

“Am I just gonna be standin' here all night askin' what's going on like a broken record?” He complained, loudly. Yeesh, he didn’t think disappearing from the diorama for one night would cause such a ruckus. 

Nicky turned to his dad, raising an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell him?”

“I was getting to it! Jed, look, you didn’t do a very good job hiding last night-”

“The sun was risin’, it wasn’t my fault!”

“You could have at least- Never mind, that’s an argument for later.” Larry recounted the events of the previous day, Jed’s eyes widening. As he described the injuries to his limbs, he rubbed at his shoulder, feeling for anything out of place. It felt the same as ever, and his leg seemed to work just fine.

“I gotta say, I’m grateful y’all didn’t try an’ fix me up while I was awake. I don’ know about you, but I ain’t ever wanna see my own arm sittin’ off by itself. That just ain’t right.”

“I’m just happy that Octavius knows how to sculpt a nose better than we thought. I’d hate to see what it would’ve looked like otherwise.”

“My NOSE?!” 

Hands flew up to his face, poking and prodding his nose. The only thing he could tell from just touching it was that it sure was nose shaped. “Why didn’t ya tell me that was messed up, too? How’s it look?” 

Wait. 

Jed’s mind backtracked, all concerns for his nose gone (for the moment).

“Octy helped put me back together?” His stomach twisted, thinking about Octavius seeing him all plastic like. While he had never seen what they look like during the day, he knew if their roles were switched around, he’d have a tough time dealing with that.

Add a few missin’ body parts and that didn’t sound like a hog-killin’ time. 

Larry continued, his voice snapping Jed back to Earth. “Yeah, he insisted on coming along. I didn’t know if he should, you know.” He made a vague gesture with his hands as he looked for the right words. “I mean, I wasn’t sure how he’d take it. Seeing you like that. It must be weird knowing your crush literally helped put you back together.” 

“WHOA, hold up there, partner! Where'd ya get that idea?!” Jed blurted, face turning red. The way Larry just said it so casually, and how both he and Nicky just rolled their eyes and shared an exasperated look, his face turned even darker as realization dawned on him.

“Wait, does EVERYBODY KNOW?!” 

They nodded. 

Jedediah had never wished so hard for a hole to grow beneath his feet and swallow him up.

"You're really not as slick as you think you are, buddy." Larry said. "I'm pretty sure Octavius is the only one that _doesn't_ know what's up."

"Yeah, I'm sure he's got _other things_ on his mind." Jed grumbled, remembering those blasted love letters. He wouldn't notice his feelings even if Jed jumped on the roof and screamed it at him. His dream flashed across his mind, seemingly just to mock him. 

Before he could fall too deep into the well of misery, Sacajawea entered the lobby, smiling at the trio as she approached. “Welcome back, Jedediah. It’s good to see you in one piece again.” 

“I hear I have you to thank for that, ma’am. Much obliged.” Jed politely tipped his hat to her. She held out her palm to him. 

“Your friends back in the west are eager to see you. I can take you if you’d like.” 

Normally, Jed would insist he could make it on his own. But, given how that went for him last night, he just nodded and climbed onto her hand. 

Thankfully, both limbs seemed to be holding up as he stood on her palm, reattached arm wrapped firmly around her thumb. He prodded at his nose again, thinking about Octavius taking the time to fix it. He thought of his careful, steady fingers tracing his face, curling over his cheek, thumb lightly caressing his stubble as he leaned in-

 _‘Christ, Jed, get a hold of yourself!’_ He pulled the brim of his hat lower to hide his blush. He was gonna have to learn to control those thoughts if Octy ends up confessing to this fella and they started datin'. 

“Octavius was very distressed about what happened to you.” Sacajawea said as they left the lobby. 

“Yeah?” Jed mumbled, fidgeting with the brim. “He better not have botched up my nose. I got a reputation to keep up.” 

“Reputation?”

“Well _somebody’s_ gotta be known as the most handsome man in the west, don’t he?”

She laughed softly, amused. “Don’t worry, he did an excellent job. It looks just like it was before.” She paused, a knowing look in her eyes. “Even if he did mess it up, I’m sure Octavius would still find you very handsome.” 

Oh lord, everyone really DID know, huh? Has everybody been teasing him about his crush this whole time and he didn't even notice?

“Not as handsome as this mystery guy, apparently.” He grumbled.

“As who?” She asked. Jed shrugged, really not wanting to go into detail. He still had to apologize to Octavius, he didn't need to make things worse by spreading the news around and gettin’ the Roman all riled up again. 

Thankfully, they reached the diorama room before she could ask further questions. Seeing her return with their friend, the west figures began to hoot and holler, waving excitedly as the two approached the exhibit. 

“Jed! Welcome back!”

“Where were ya, partner?” 

“I heard you was busted up, they finally fix yer ugly mug?” 

Jed rolled his eyes, grinning. Before Sacajawea lowered him to meet with his friends, she whispered close to him, too soft for anyone else to hear. 

“Before I took him back, Octavius asked me to tell you something.” She grinned. “Once you’ve found it, meet him in the gem and mineral exhibit.” With a wink, he planted him in the west, waving goodbye as she left. 

Jedediah blinked. 

When he found _‘it’?_ What did that even mean?

He didn’t have time to question that as his fellow miniatures began bombarding him with questions. Little Noah nearly knocked him over as he slammed into him, hugging him tighter than a boa constrictor. Jed could barely keep up, chest warmed by everyone’ concern and excitement for his return. 

Finally, their town doc came in to shut them up. “Alright, alright, everybody! Pipe down! I know we’re all excited, but let the man get some rest!” He insisted, spectacles sliding off his nose. “We can all catch up later. You, to your tent. Now.” He said firmly, giving Jed the no nonsense glare he always gave his patients. The cowboy rolled his eyes, finally freed from his death grip hug.

“Aw, come on, I feel fine!” 

“Nope, to your tent, boy. Don’t make me drag you there myself.”

Jed held up his hands in surrender, waving goodbye as he made his way to his tent. He barely made two steps before the doctor stopped him with a hand on the shoulder. 

“I don’t know what you and that general of yours are up to, but I wish you both luck.” Winking, he gave the shoulder a pat before walking off. 

Jed just stood there, brain scrambling to figure out what was going on with everybody that night. He made his way to his tent, glancing around suspiciously. 

What was he supposed to find? Did Octavius stop by his tent earlier? Why not just wait for him there if he wanted to meet up instead of making the trek across the museum? 

Butterflies rustling in his stomach, Jed slowly opened the flap of his tent, peering inside cautiously. Stepping inside, he couldn’t spot anything immediately different. The cot, chair, table, the rolled up paper, everything checked ou-

His eyes snapped back to his cot. Stacked neatly on top of the wool blanket were strips of paper, rolled up and tied neatly with red string. 

The love letters. 

Was...Was this some kind of twisted joke? 

Hesitantly, Jed approached the cot. The letters were stacked into rows, looking perfectly innocent. He grabbed the first one, heart slamming in his chest.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly unrolled the first letter. 

_I fear if I do not at least write out my thoughts, I will be consumed totally by these feelings and lose control. It is already difficult to be around him nearly every night, so close but unable to do anything. How cruel the world is to give me somebody so handsome, so obnoxious, so close yet so far. I dread the sunrise, not because I return to plastic, but because my heart feels like it is ripped in two every time I have to say goodbye. The west is just across the wall, but it feels like it’s much farther away. To think that we spent so many years fighting to suddenly becoming close friends is mind boggling, but I wouldn’t change it for the world._

No. No, it couldn’t…

Jed hastily grabbed the next one, eyes flying across the words. 

_Though I often criticize your insane driving, it is these moments I hold close to my heart more than others. These moments are just for us. Our conversations, the teasing, the laughs, all of it is ours. We are ourselves there, not leaders. Perhaps one night, I may reach out and hold your hand as we ride. Or we could park at one of the windows, watching the stars outside as I whisper in your ear all of the ways you outshine them. I wonder, could I make you blush? Or would you just stubbornly refuse to let me see it?_

Too shocked to really process what he was doing anymore, Jedediah grabbed the next one. 

_I often find myself wondering what it would have been like to meet in another life. Outside of this museum, how would we come across one another? Would we start off fighting, and grow as friends? Would we have become more? Part of me wishes for that life, a life with no tablet, and no magic. I wish to grow old with you, sharing all of life’s joys and sorrows side by side. I always feel stronger when we are together, as if we could take on the world. Small or large, I feel like I can overcome any obstacle as long as you’re with me. You’re my strength, my sunshine, my one and only._

The next three were the ones he had read before, leaving only two left.

_I admit, I am still unsettled by tonight’s misadventure. My traitorous mind keeps taking me back to that moment, watching you fall headfirst into the water. Despite having just said goodbye to you, seeing with my own eyes that you are indeed still breathing, I keep thinking of what might have happened had I not jumped in after you. Yes, you probably would have been fine, but what disturbs me the most is the thought of how fragile we truly are. Any night we could be stepped on, trapped where no one could find us, or worse. The thought of losing you, forever, makes my heart ache. I will do what I can to keep you safe, no matter the cost._

“I must've scared the hell out of him tonight..." He mumbled, rolling it back up. He'd have to do more than bring in salt and vinegar chips to make up for the stress he must have put Octavius through.

Jed hesitated, the final letter sitting in his palm. What if this one was him telling Jed that he changed his mind? Did he want to meet just to let him know that he no longer felt that way about him, that he had crossed the line when he poked around his private business?

Only one way to find out. 

As he read, a slow smile spread across his face. 

_I swear to the gods, Jedediah, if you haven’t figured it out yet I will tell everybody you nearly died because of a rubber duck. I’ll make sure to include the very dignified squeak you made when you fell in._

“You know what? I think that's my favorite one.” He carefully placed the letters back in place, finally looking at them with a sense of warmth and fondness instead of jealousy and wariness. He thought of Octavius waiting for him, picking at his cape and growing more worried as time passed and Jed was nowhere to be seen. He better get a wiggle on before Octy thought he had stood him up.

Jed looked at the letters spread across his cot, an idea taking shape.

Well now, he couldn’t just read all those nice words and not do _something_ in return, right?


	8. Chapter 8

Octavius did not pace. He was a disciplined soldier, pacing was out of the question. Taping your foot and darting your eyes back to the entrance every few seconds were perfectly fine, however. 

As usual, the gem and mineral exhibit was deserted, the large amethyst stone above him sparkling beneath the lights. Outside, he could pick up some of the other inhabitants running around, or Rexy’s steps echoing through the halls. Inside the room, however, it was distressingly silent. 

It had been quite some time since Octavius had returned with the others. He reluctantly let Jedediah out of his hold, promising to see him soon as he began to slowly come back to life. Sacajawea had carried him off before he had fully returned to himself, setting him back among his fellow Romans. 

He informed her to pass a message along to the cowboy before he darted off to his bedroom, carrying his love proclamations under one arm as he hurried to climb into his neighboring diorama. 

The other westerners were concerned, asking about their friend’s whereabouts. Octavius assured him everything was fine, and if someone could inform him where Jedediah’s tent was, that would be fantastic. Their local medic was the one who ended up guiding him there, eyeing the paper in his arms with curiosity. Thankfully, he didn’t ask questions as the general placed them inside. 

After hitching a ride from Ahkmenrah as he made his rounds to check on everybody, Octavius had been waiting ever since. He had felt confident at first, but as time passed and there was still no sign of blond hair his confidence wavered. 

Did Jedediah find his letters? Is he avoiding this meeting because Octavius had made him uncomfortable? He had anticipated Jedediah not returning his feelings, as much as it stung, but he had hoped the two could talk about it. At the very least they could try to put it behind them and move on. 

Octavius could accept not being with him romantically, but losing him as his best friend was unacceptable.

With a sigh, he considered returning to Rome. Perhaps this was a mistake-

**BEEP BEEP!**

Nearly jumping out of his skin, he turned to the entrance, his heart skipping a beat. A familiar car drove through, fast and recklessly drifting as it turned the corner. Instead of pulling up to Octavus, the driver drove in circles (He believed they were called donuts), tires screeching loudly across the floor. From inside, he could hear familiar shouts of glee, making him roll his eyes. 

Finally, with one final spin, the car came to a halt. Jedediah stepped out, a wide grin on his face as he placed his hat back on his head.

“Whoo! Whatcha think, Octy? Pretty good, huh?” 

“I think you’re an absolute lunatic. Was _any_ of that necessary?” Octavius couldn't help but smile, relieved to see him back to his normal self. 

“Nope, but it sure was fun.” Jed leaned against the car, his brilliant blue eye meeting his gaze. His grin had softened, the look in his eyes making Octavius shift nervously. 

“You know, if you weren’t a general I’d reckon you’d've been a good writer. You got a fancy way with words, y’know.” 

Octavius wasn’t sure what to say. “I...suppose I'll keep that in mind.” 

The two were quiet for a moment, Octavius reaching down to mess the rope across his chest. Now that the moment had come, he found himself unsure of what to say.

“How long have ya felt this way ‘bout me?” 

Of course. Straight to the point, as usual. 

“A while.” He admitted, cheeks turning light pink. He could pour his heart out in writing just fine, but now that he actually had the moment to express them out loud his tongue decided to twist into a knot. Jed waited patiently, for once, watching him. Clearing his throat, Octavius tried again, gathering his courage. 

“I suppose I’ve always been attracted to you, even during the years we fought. It wasn’t until recently that I truly realized how deep my feelings were, once we spent more time together.” He paused, looking away. 

“I’m sorry that I stormed out the other night. I could have prevented everything from happening if I had just stayed and-”

“Nope, none of that now, amigo.” Jed interrupted, pushing himself off of the car. “It ain’t your fault what happened to me. Hell, you don’t got nothin’ to apologize for anyway. I was the one looking through your things like a nosy crook. I'm the one that should be sorry.”

“I could have helped you return home safe.” Octavius said, voice soft, guilt simmering in his gut. “I only reacted that way because I felt humiliated, and it caught me off guard. I had no intention of you ever reading those, and I...I’m sorry.” 

Jed sighed heavily. “Dang it, Octy, we’re gonna stand here all night apologizin’ at this rate.” Stepping closer, Jed placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“I forgive ya, partner, as long as ya forgive me. Alright?” 

With that smile, how could Octavius possibly refuse?

“I can accept that, my friend.” 

"Good." Patting his shoulder, Jed stepped back. "By the way, if my nose turned out crooked I take it all back. I ain't never forgivin' you."

Octavius rolled his eyes. "You could have lost your _arm_ or your _leg_ and _that's_ what you're most concerned about?"

"Maybe I coulda gotten one of them fancy robot arms. Like that one movie we saw."

"I highly doubt they make such things for our size."

"Let a man dream, will ya?"

For a moment they stood in silence, a heavy weight lifting from Octavius’ shoulders. Jedediah didn’t seem to mind his affections at least. Perhaps they could work this out after all. 

Jed’s gaze moved behind him, eyes widening. 

“How long ya been standin’ there, Gigantor?” 

Octavius spun around, but there was no one behind him. His brows furrowed, glancing to see if he’s missing something. 

“Jedediah, what are you... _Oh_.” 

When he turned back to his friend, he came face to face with a delicate, white flower. To somebody like Larry, it would be the size of a fingernail, but to the small Roman it was the perfect size.

Jedediah, cheeks red, held it out to him nervously. 

“It’s called Baby’s Breath, apparently. I had Sacajawea help find me something that wouldn’t crush us both.” Jed’s words rushed out of him, babbling as Octavius could only stare at the white petals. “I know it ain’t much, but I didn’t just wanna show up with nothin’, y’know? Those letters were real nice and it just didn’t feel right not givin’ ya something’ back, but I didn't really have nothin' layin' around the old west so I just-” 

“Jedediah.” 

The cowboy shut up, looking at him expectantly. Octavius reached out, taking the small flower, a soft smile on his face.

“It’s perfect, thank you.” 

“Really?” Jed’s eyes lit up. “Good. That’s good, I-” He cleared his throat, as red as his cloak. Octavius chuckled. 

“You’re blushing.”

“Aw, shaddup.” 

“I thought you didn’t like flowers, though.”

Jed shrugged, still bright red. “They ain’t so bad, I guess. As long as you like it, anyway.”

Octavius admired the flower, it’s sweet fragrance light and pleasant. “You really didn’t have to do this for me. I’m just grateful my feelings didn’t frighten you. I was worried you wouldn’t want to remain friends after this.” 

Shocked, Jed’s smile slipped off of his face. 

“Friends? You serious?” 

Octavius raised a brow. 

“Of course I am.” 

Jed let out a long, _long_ groan.

“Well, it looks like we’re both the worst when it comes to this kinda thing, ain’t we?” Jed looked at the flower, then back at Octavius. “Feels like we’d have better luck figurin’ this out plucking them petals at this rate.”

“Why would we do such a thing?” He asked, protectively shielding the flower with his free hand. There would be absolutely _NO_ floral destruction on his watch. At least, not to _this_ one.

“You ain’t ever done that before?” 

Octavius shook his head. A light bulb seemed to go off in Jedediah’s head, eyes bright. “I got an idea, hold on a sec.” He said, turning back to the car. Reaching inside, he pulled out another flower that had been slightly crumpled.

“How many do you _have_ in there?” 

“Just these two. I figured you wouldn’t want the one I accidentally sat on.” Jed held the second flower out for him. “Here, you hold onto that.” 

Octavius, suspicious, held the flower in his free hand. Jed’s hand curled around his, the leather glove warm against his skin.

“You start by pullin’ out one, like this.” He explained, gently pulling off one of the delicate petals. Octavius watched closely, heart racing as Jedediah kept hold of his hand. 

“When ya pull it, you gotta say ‘he loves me’. Next one,” 

Another petal plucked, the first drifting to the floor. 

“You say ‘he loves me not’, then ya start again.” Looking up, Jed's grin turned smug at the sight of Octavius' face burning bright. 

_'This is payback for teasing him about his blush earlier, isn't it?'_

He pulled another petal, holding it up, waiting. 

“Ah...He loves me?” 

Nodding, Jed let the petal fall beside them, plucking another one. 

“He loves me not…” Octavius whispered, struggling to focus on anything but the way Jedediah’s eyes had softened, making him feel warm inside. They were standing so close now, the scent of the flower mixing with his leather vest and gloves. 

Another petal. 

“He loves me.” 

Another petal. 

“He loves me not...” 

Jed’s gaze flickered down to his lips, and Octavius was fairly certain he forgot how to breathe.

Another petal.

“He loves me...” 

Jed’ eyes flickered back up to meet his own. 

“Looks like that was the last one.” He whispered, voice soft. “Usually ya play this game when you ain’t sure how your crush feels about ya. It looks like you got your answer.” 

Octavius was frozen on the spot, eyes wide in shock.

“You love me?” His voice absolutely did _not_ crack. Jedediah let out a chuckle, his breath ghosting across his lips. The tips of their noses were nearly touching at this point. 

“To the moon an’ back, darlin’.”

Both flowers fell to the floor as Octavius pulled him in by the shirt collar. He felt arms wrap around him, pulling him closer. The rest of the world was long forgotten. Nothing else mattered except how soft and warm Jed's lips felt against his own.

The kiss was brief, both men's eyes slowly fluttering back open after parting. Jed licked his lips, a shy smile growing. 

“What was it ya said in one of them letters? About kissin’ me a thousand times?” 

“If I kissed you once, I could never stop.” Octavius clarified, sliding his hand up to caress his cheek. The stubble was a welcome change from the smooth plastic earlier that night. 

“I think I know what ya meant by that now.” Jed sighed, leaning into the touch. “Think we have time to make it to a thousand before sunrise?” 

Rolling his eyes, Octavius didn’t answer. He simply leaned back in for another kiss, and judging from the noise Jed made, he didn’t mind one bit. 

“I love you, _carissime_.” Octavius whispered against his lips. 

“I love ya, too, darlin’.” Jed pulled back, holding Octavius close against him. “Think I heard you call me that before.”

“What? When?” 

Jed shrugged. “I was dreamin’ about ya earlier, an’ I’m pretty sure ya called me that.”

“You dream about me?” 

“Sometimes, yeah. I don’t know where it came from, though. You know I ain’t no good at this Latin business.”

“Oh. I, um…” Octavius looked away, clearing his throat. “I did call you that earlier, as you were coming to. I didn’t think you could hear me.” 

“Anyone ever tell ya you look cute blushin’ like that?” Jed teased.

“ _No,_ because I’m not _cute._ ” Octavius insisted, making Jed’s smile grow wider. 

“You look cute with that little pout, too.”

“I do _not_ pout!” 

“Yeah? Then what’s this here?” Jed kissed the corner of his mouth. Octavius rolled his eyes.

“Oh, just get back here and kiss me properly, you buffoon.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice, sweetheart.” 

_"Thirty minute warning, guys!”_

The two barely registered Larry’s booming voice from the speakers.

They had lots of lost time to make up for, a few more minutes wouldn't hurt.

\---

“Nope! I am NOT doing this again! When I find those two, I’m gonna-”

“Dad, come on, Jed’s gone through enough tonight.” 

“Okay, _fine_ , but Octavius should know better!” 

Larry and Nicky patrolled the halls, the museum quiet as the first rays of sunrise peeked through the window. After ensuring everything was ready for the day, Larry nearly smacked his head into the wall when he checked the diorama room. For the second night in a row, one particular blond cowboy failed to return to his exhibit. On top of that, neither had a certain Roman. 

“Am I getting more gray hairs? I feel like those two are giving me more gray hairs.”

“Hey, maybe it’ll be a good look for you.” Nicky suggested, shrugging indifferently. “Wanna split up? I’ll check the dioramas again.” 

With a nod, the two spread out for their search. Larry checked behind every nook and cranny he could find, thinking of the lecture he was going to give those two the next night. He definitely needed to discuss a pay raise with McPhee soon. Eleven fifty an hour wouldn’t cut it for all the trouble those two were determined to cause.

The lobby was quiet and peaceful as Larry checked the room. He checked around Rexy, Teddy, even the restrooms in the side corridors. Just as he was about to give up and find Nicky, his eyes potted something peculiar. 

Stepping closer, he examined very small tire track marks from a recently charged up remote toy car. 

“Gotcha.” Stepping into the exhibit, he quickly spotted the car across the room, parked by a large amethyst display. As he approached, he could spot a small black hat and red cloak on the other side of the vehicle. 

“Come on, guys, I give you the heads up for a reason!” Larry complained, knowing full well neither could hear him. “Jed, you’d think you’d be more careful given all we went through just to get you back. And, Octavius, really? You’re supposed to be-” 

The rest of his rant was abruptly cut off when he finally got a good look at the two of them. 

“Oh. Um…” 

Standing beneath the large display, Jedediah and Octavius had frozen in the middle of an obviously passionate kiss. Jed’s arms were locked tight around the Roman’s waist, while Octavius had his arms wrapped around the cowboy’s neck. 

Larry was very thankful that Nicky hadn’t decided to check the lobby. 

“Okay, um...This still doesn’t change anything, guys.” He cleared his throat, picking up the car, hesitating as he looked down at the two. “Congratulations, it’s about time. We’ll celebrate later, but first I need to get you guys out of sight.” 

He paused, a grin forming on his lips as he pulled out his phone.

“Say ‘cheese’, lovebirds.” He said as he snapped a photo of the two. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Epilogue**

Several days had passed since the night in the gem exhibit. Jedediah had parked the car beneath the Roman diorama, leaning against the hood. He whistled as he waited, tapping his foot idly. Above, he could see a few of the soldiers talking with Octavius, finishing up some last minute business or something like that. Jed openly admired the general, from his broad shoulders to his serious, commanding face and couldn’t help but grin. 

It didn’t matter now if people caught him staring, heart eyes and all. The thought was still a bit surreal to him, that he had nothin’ to hide no more. Of course there was always some lighthearted teasing from the west, but it wasn’t nothin’ he didn’t expect. Both sides showed their support, many of them audibly expressing their relief that the two had _finally_ done something about it. Though Jed wasn't thrilled to learn about the bets they've been making on when they'd finally stop dancing around each other. Mostly because most of the cowboys had bet _Octavius_ would be the first to make a move instead of him. 

Octy glanced down at Jed, who waved and winked in return. “Anytime tonight would be great, sweet cheeks!” A satisfied smirk crept along his face as Octavius turned light pink right in front of his men. It was surprisingly easy to get him all flustered once Jed figured out how to push his buttons. Of course, this usually meant he would get revenge later on, but Jed figured it was worth it. 

Finally, Octavius had wrapped up his impromptu meeting, climbing down to meet Jed. 

“I'm surprised I didn't grow a beard waitin' for ya to finish up.” He said, holding out his hand. Octavius rolled his eyes, but reached out and grabbed his hand anyway. "How'd it go?"

“It was fine, _sweet cheeks._ Are you ready to depart?”

“I’ve been ready since sundown, darlin’.” Jed said, leading Octy to the passenger side, opening the door for him like a proper gentleman. ”Didya hear? Gigantor’s bringin’ some new candy tonight! We gotta get there before it’s all gone!” 

“I highly doubt that will happen.” Octavius said, closing the door as Jed hurried to get back to the driver’s side. He slid across the hood for fun, grinning at Octy's exasperated sigh.

“Was _walking_ simply too much to ask for?”

Jed only shrugged, starting up the car. “You know you love it, sugar lips.” 

“I thought you would have run out of embarrassing pet names at this point.”

“Oh you ain’t heard nothin’ yet, snuggle bug.” 

"Please don't."

“Aw, what’s wrong, boobear?”

“Jupiter, help me...” Octavius whined, covering his red face with his hand as the car sped off down the hall. Jed took the opportunity to throw out more nicknames, making Octavius sink down in the passenger seat, beet red and muttering about how he should have just stayed home tonight.

Larry had already set up the lobby for movie night by the time the two arrived. He was currently chasing after Dexter for some reason, but knowing that little devil he must have been up to no good again.

With Gigantor distracted, the two wasted no time dashing to the snacks laid out by the desk. Nicky stood beside the treats, trying to discreetly munch on something chocolaty. 

“Hey there, kiddo!” 

Quickly shoving the last bits of his candy bar into his mouth, Nicky turned to the two tiny men. 

“Oh, hey guys, what’s up?” He asked around a mouthful of caramel and peanuts. Jed shrugged. “Oh, not much. You know us, partner. Always lookin’ to help out where we can.” 

Nicky rolled his eyes. “Come on, guys, give it a rest. I know you're just trying to get some extra candy.”

Both men gasped dramatically.

“Us? Why, we would never!” Octavius proclaimed, hand on his chest. “How could you think so little of us?”

“Careful what you say now, Nick.”

Crossing his arms, Nicky smirked mischievously at the two. “You know, my dad still hasn’t forgotten about the M&M incident.” 

Jed and Octavius clutched their stomachs, grimacing. They hadn’t forgotten, either. 

“We won’t go overboard this time, I swear.” Jed insisted. "Come on, I nearly lost my arm! I think I've earned an extra snack!"

"Jed, how many times are you going to try that excuse to get what you want?"

"It worked once!" 

"On _who?_ _"_

Octavius cleared his throat, looking away. 

"I should've known." Nicky thought for a moment. “Hmm...Alright, fine. I think I've got something you'll like.” Reaching Into the snack pile, he held out a small box. 

“Whatcha got there?” Jed asked, staring at the unfamiliar pink and purple packaging. 

“It’s a favorite of mine; Nerds.” Nicky placed the box next to their pillow, already set up for the show. “Don’t tell dad I gave you two a whole box. If you get sick again, I had nothing to do with it, okay?" The two nodded, eyes already bright with excitement. 

Hearing the chatter as the rest of the exhibits made their way into the lobby, Nicky quickly placed Jedediah and Octavius onto their seat, taking his own spot next to Ahkmenrah (who had also indulged in some of the treats before the show began, just grinning happily when Larry shook his head in exasperation).

The two made themselves comfortable as everyone took their seats. Hat and helmet set aside, Jed leaned against Octavius, head on his shoulder. He felt Octavius wrap his arm around him, pressing a light kiss to his head.

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to focus on the film if you distract me like this, _carissime_.” 

“I’m just sittin’ here, pumpkin. Ain’t my fault you’re just too easy to distract.” 

Octavius sighed. “How many names will you call me before you just start making up words?”

“What, like schmumple bumple?”

“No, we're not doing this.” Jed laughed as Octavius playfully shoved him away. As the movie began, he had found himself laying back with his head resting comfortably in Octavius’ lap. He couldn’t see the screen as well, but it was worth it to have Octy run his fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes, tension melting away as he relaxed. 

“If you fall asleep, I’ll be forced to eat your share of Nicky’s candy.” 

"You wouldn't dare."

"Are you willing to take the risk?"

"Depends on if this is even a movie worth stayin' awake for."

"Larry spoke highly of West Side Story, if I recall."

"He also praised The Room. I'm just sayin', I don't trust his taste in movies."

As the movie continued, the two found themselves once more distracted. They lay next to one another, hands clasped together. Jed, with his gloves off, could feel the warmth of Octavius’ lips brushing against his knuckles. 

“Have I told you how gorgeous your eyes are?” Octy whispered, smiling softly. 

“Yeah, but they don’t got nothin’ on yours, darlin’.” 

“I have to say, out of all the names you have, I think that is my favorite.” Octavius pulled Jed closer, brushing their noses together. “I don’t think I’d ever grow tired of hearing it.”

“You sure it ain’t love muffin?” 

Jed grinned while Octavius glared at him. 

“You are ridiculous, _carissime_. Absolutely, utterly, _impossibly_ ridiculous.” He brought his free hand up to caress his cheek, gaze softening. “I wouldn't have you any other way. It's what made me fall in love with you in the first place, after all.”

Jed felt his face burn up. “Dang it, Octy, why do you always gotta be all romantic an' stuff?” 

“Because your blush is adorable.”

“I ain’t adorable!” 

“I beg to differ. Look, you’re blushing harder.” 

“Naw I ain’t!”

“Oh? Then what’s this?” Octavius planted a big, wet kiss on Jed’s cheek. “Oh my, it’s spreading!” Another on his nose. “Would you look at that, even your EARS are red!” 

“Octy, I swear I’m gonna throw you off this desk if ya don’t stop! Hey, that tickles!” 

Octavius rolled on top of him, pinning Jed down as he began to pepper his face with quick, light kisses. Jed laughed when he found a ticklish spot behind his ear. 

“You're tryin’ to kill me, ain’t ya?” Jed said between fits of laughter. Octavius pulled back, a satisfied smirk on his face. “Oh, you know if I truly wished to end your life all I would need is a pool and a rubber duck.”

“You ain't letting that one go, huh?”

Octavius shook his head. “Absolutely not. Starting tomorrow, we’re going to continue your swimming lessons.”

"Do I gotta?"

"You agreed to them, and I am _not_ letting you get out of it."

"But I almost lost my-"

" _No._ "

Jed stuck out his bottom lip, giving his best sad puppy eyes.

“Nice try, but it won't work.” Octavius poked his bottom lip, pushing it back in. “My pout is far more effective than yours anyway.”

“I thought you didn’t pout.”

“That’s it, you’re wearing the flower shorts this time.”

" _Octyyy..._ "

"Give me one good reason why we should stop the lessons."

"We can use that time to make out?"

Jed smirked when Octavius didn't respond.

"...I hate you."

"Love ya, too, sweetheart."

If someone had told him last week he would end up wrapped in Octavius’ arms, kissing him like his life depended on it, he’d have laughed til sunrise. Now he couldn’t possibly imagine going another 50 years without feeling those lips against his, or hearing the little sigh Octavius made when he pulled back.

“We're missing the movie, my love.” He pointed out, resting their foreheads together, eyes closed.

“I don't mind one bit, darlin'.” Jed pulled him back in for another kiss, the rest of the world long forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all so much for reading! ^_^
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr (xxwitchywomanxx) if you're interested in seeing more Jedtavius fangirling haha


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